worldfire

back 2 school !

5th January, Halldon Road, UK

Once again it was raining and once again I was at a bus stop crowding with 20 other people that wore my school's red and black uniform by force and not by choice. It was a new year which also meant that it was the start of a new term and therefore also could've meant the start of a new person at my school for me to crush on? Times were tough.

The 611 however, was still the same. Rolling between the sea of beige houses like it was on holiday, the bus eventually slowed down as it chugged to the bus stop. At this point, I could've cared less for what was going to happen in the future. Other then Hazel's betrayal, I was perfectly fine living a monotone life where I didn't get what I wanted and was forced to watch others live out my dream.

Almost like the bus had ears, we approached Hazel's bus stop and she got on, her hair flowing in the wind like in one of those shampoo commercials as she walked over and sat next to me.

"SANTI!" She said, basically ear-to-ear with excitement. "You will never guess what happened to me on the holidays!!" I already knew what happened to her on the holidays. And so did everyone else that she added on Snapchat. Her and Sylas became boyfriend and girlfriend. Peas in a pod. The perfect pair. Or whatever other bullshit label. She posted soft-launch photos on her story, and she also spammed my phone with what they were doing and where. They went to some rose-gold cafe in Brixton, where he gave her a shitty rose-gold promise ring whilst they ate rose-gold food- Could you tell that I didn't like this couple? I nodded my head to Hazel as an unspoken way to encourage her to continue talking. "So basically, I met Sylas at a cute cafe down in Brixton, which is only like 3 buses away from here, and then he gave me a promise ring and wifed me." I smiled and laughed with her, wondering when the 611 was going to get to school so I could stop hearing about Syla-

"Announcement in progress" suddenly appeared on the bus display as the bus driver uttered words I could've lived my whole life without hearing.

"The bus is broken down sorry please get off." The driver said over the tannoy. Sighing but complying, me and Hazel grabbed our bags and got started on the walk to school. Which meant that I got the directors cut version of how her and Sylas were doing. We were walking in London, supposed to be the UK's flagship city, yet all I spotted across my eyeline was grey houses and then corner shops with bright dopamine inducing signs which weren't doing a good enough job at distracting me from the fact that Hazel was still talking. She suddenly turned to me to ask a question.

"How is you and Aidan?" Oh. What a question indeed. Me and Aidan were perfectly fine.

20th December, 13 Halldon Road

It was really weird. Me and Aidan sitting together in my room. All I could focus on was him. And his lips. I forgot what we were even talking about. My heart was buzzing, but I still didn't have a crush on Aidan. Or maybe I did. I didn't even know. The sexual tension in that room was on a different level, one wrong or right move and we would've ended up-

"San, you know you want me." Aidan said. Now wait a fucking minute. How did he already clock that before I did? I think I was shocked, my body language probably gave off a sense of embarrassment, but it was fixed by what he said next. He chuckled slightly, before turning to me. "You know 8 days ago I thought we were going to kiss." I took a deep breath out, and then he came closer. And now you can use your imagination as to what happened. But just so you know, there was no removing of clothing.

5th January

"We're friends at most." I bluntly said as Hazel looked at me.

"You know you're lying. What happened to your crush on hi-"

"It doesn't matter. Wait one sec though I need to tuck in my shirt." We were once again approaching my school which always seemed to present itself ominously. Hazel stood there, also taking the time to make sure the teachers that stood at the gates like security guards wouldn't stop her due to her uniform either.

For some reason, I actually didn't mind being back at school. New year new me? I could finally use this year as an opportunity to reinvent myself. To become someone new. I didn't have to be tied to my past and instead I could be rebirthed from the ashes. But there he stood, contrasting the grey and beige of the surrounding houses, like a vivid colour in a sea of grey, like a flame in a world of darkness. He stood tall, giving me a glance, almost affirmative of the fact that he still wanted me. And was it wrong to say that I still wanted him? He was my escape from everything that was shit in my life. I could look at him and think of the stuff we'd do together, the way he'd hug me before we went our own separate ways. And the same was happening in real life. He looked me but never spoke to me, walking past me and Hazel to speak to the friends that don't ruin his reputation.

Standing with a solemn look across my face, I accepted the fact that I was just Aidan's secret. Nothing more.