worldfire

greener on the other side

5 January, Norman Hill Academy, UK

Aidan walked past me saying nothing, and I accepted that fact, so me and Hazel decided to go inside as British weather during winter was abysmal, and that day was no exception.

Unfortunately, that gave Hazel even more opportunities to mention how her and Sylas's relationship was amazing and how she loved him and how her life was perfect. Trying my hardest not to come across as jealous, I asked for more details and gritted my teeth walking in to school.

Loud stomps from the year 7s and thundering rain was all I heard when I went into my classroom, sitting down in the tacky red chairs my school provided for us. Next to me sat Naomi, who was someone I knew but not well enough to actually be close with. I knew that I could joke and laugh with her, but I couldn't tell her everything or it could end up going to the wrong person. Books opened, eyes rolled, and my history teacher spoke with a drawl to his voice as he did the register.

Almost as if it was on que, Aidan rolled in to my class, looking as good as ever, and waited at the door to be addressed. It was almost as if my life couldn't get anymore cliché. My teacher's tired eyes searched around the room for a place for him to sit, but it was like the red shiny plastic chair that stood empty next to me was calling him. Sighing as he waited for me to move my bag of my chair, I suddenly fell silent, succumbing to the awkward silence between me and Aidan. Centuries could've passed in that one moment, it felt almost as if time was moving at a glacial speed. Until the wrinkled paper from his pocket was put onto the table and he started writing. Passing the paper to me, there was some tension as I unfolded it.

"can we talk abt what happened over break?"

I had never ripped up something with that amount of speed in my life. He maintained eye contact with me, almost in some sort of pleading way. I took a deep breath in.

5 January, 13:26

And I took a deep breath out. Me and Aidan were in one of the back parts of the school, overgrown and overlooked by most. He said he liked it there, but I was thinking he didn't want to be seen.

It was at that moment when he made out with me again. He knew what to do and I just gave up and let him have control over me at that point in time.

"Can this become a regular thing?" He asked, playing with my hair in a way that made me say yes. He smiled and walked off, almost instantly after I had given my answer, which seemed extremely strange.

2-3 weeks later, 27 January, 07:49

Another dull day had graced the skylines of the United Kingdom, accompanying me as I stood once again with 20 people under the red bus stop, with my school's tacky red and black uniform that forever remained an eye sore. Engines huffed and puffed as the bus pulled up to my stop, letting me know to prepare to get my card out.

Once again, I was gifted a view of the neighbourhoods that fell victim to gentrification as the bus found it's way to Hazel's bus stop. She looked like a diamond surrounded by mud as she got on and started talking to me about what Sylas was giving her once again. It wasn't fair. I had a relationship too, but all he ever wanted was a make out session before he left to go back to his life, and I had to appear alone. All the times I asked him to go out with me to somewhere nice and for him to tell me he doesn't want people to know he's gay. But Hazel got to sit there and talk about how her boyfriend was the best boyfriend ever and I had to suffer. Like I always did. She turned to me, and noticed the fact that I was keeping something to myself. At that time, I couldn't help it. Back then I kept a lot to myself, especially after the whole Teo situation.

It's sad to think that since that day Hazel spoke to me about Sylas and I didn't bother caring, that things slowly started going downhill. Eventually the bond that was between us was almost non-existent, and all we really had left was the 611 where we sat next to each other and pretended as if we were still close. Over time, the FaceTime calls stopped, the texts about Sylas where she talked about how great he was stopped, the annoying me about Aidan stopped, and us going out outside of school stopped.

14 March, Norman Hill Academy, UK

The dull days became duller now that there was nothing much interesting in my life except Aidan. Our relationship hadn't evolved since then, we'd just make out in somewhere private and then he'd go speak to Teo and his circle, as they decided to replace me with him. They were supposed to be my friends, ones who would do anything for me and I would do anything for them.

I looked like a personified depression episode as I tried to sweep my hair over my forehead. Barely awake, I stumbled to the first class of the day as I sat down next to two people I knew from somewhere. One of them was a slightly above average height girl named Athena. Athena was one of my not-so-close friends before I got outed, but she didn't care that the whole school knew I was gay. She had twists that went down to around her waist in a gorgeous copper colour and was aware of the fact that she looked good. Her friend was named Isla and had strawberry blonde hair which was kept at medium length.

We all sat next to each other in a old and dingy classroom which was at the corner of the school. The flickering lights and general disregard for care to be put in the design of this classroom meant that my teacher had a harder time than usual. This worked in my favour, and by the end of the lesson, Isla and Athena invited me to spend my lunch with them and their friends. Almost smiling ear to ear, I accepted as I clutched my bag and walked to the next lesson I had.