One, Two, Three

Chapter twenty-five

One,

Two,

Three.

The number of times I've just wanted to get up and leave. They are all looking at me funny. I hate it. We are all sitting around the dining room table. I'm sitting next to Jack, who has his hand on my leg again, and Romeo. It's seems like they are trying to avoid two subjects. One is my dads death and two is my almost death. "Well I need to talk to you guys." Carson said looking up from his food. We are having the grossest shit I've ever put in my body. I don't even know what it is. It looks like a big blob of grey. Jack, Ben, Romeo, Ken, and I all look up at him. "I need to leave the house tonight. They are making me go fill out some paper work and shi-" he stops and looks at Sally for a second and back to us."and some stuff. Can I trust you four to look after car for me." I look down and my plate. Great now I need to be taken care of. I need babysitters. Jack looks at me and grabs my hand that's under the table. I don't look up at him but I feel his eyes on me. Then I feel Romeos strong hand pull me closer to him. Jack lets go of my hand before Romeo can see. Romeo gives me a side hug. Then lets go. "Car, I know you don't want babysitters but I just can't leave you here, not after what happ-" I cut him off by standing up from the table and walking away. I run upstairs and slam my door. I lock it and go to the window. I open it and step out onto the roof. I shut the window and just plop down on my ass. I'm never going to be trusted again. My life isn't gonna be worth it now. I'm not gonna have a life outside of the guys. I won't have any girl friends. I won't have any friends. Who is gonna want to be friends with the girl who tried to kill herself? No one is gonna treat me the same. "Proshce!" I look down to see Brady standing there. "What the fuck do you want?" I scream at him, wiping away some tears that escaped my eyes. He walks closer to the house. "Can I come up?" He shouts up to me. It seems like he needs someone. How could I say no. I tell him to climb up the flower thingy. He does so and sits next to me. "What do ya need?" I ask. My voice shakes as I hold in my tears and pain. "I wanted to know if you're ok. I over heard what happened and I care about you... So I wanted to know if you were ok." He starts to blush. I stand up and walk to the other side of the roof. "I'm fine." Is all I say, it's all I can say. I'm so tired of lying but I don't want anyone's pity. I look down and think to myself 'will I die if I fall from here? No sadly not.' I hear the window slide open. I don't look back I know who it is. I'm holding myself. Hiding behind my hair, wish I would just disappear. I don't know why I feel like this. I've never felt like this before.