Waiting For August

Part 64 ~ It's only temporary

"What?" I felt my stomach drop. An uneasy feeling was crawling up my spine, slowly rendering me numb. "Bite me?" I thought. Spoke. I couldn't be sure which. My heart was beating frantically, so frantically in fact that it was soon all I could hear.

I could see Caleb's lips working. The look of concern upon his face, but he seemed to be far away. Out there. He was out there, and I was in here, being sucked in deeper and deeper within myself. My mind was slowly coming to a realization, fitting pieces together that had been rattling around up there for some time now. Words, statements that hadn't quite made sense at the time, were beginning to have new meaning. Hidden looks, warning glances between friends that I had chosen to overlook and then forgotten, were now all coming back to mind.

This is—

Don't listen. My wolf told me.

Why is this—

It doesn't matter, he said. All that matters is you and Caleb.

"Three days! It didn't work last time because the moon wasn't right."

Stop this! My wolf ordered. You don't need to know this. I took care of it.

"Next moon, that pretty face and that pretty ass are mine."

"Oh god." I felt sick. Was going to be sick. I covered my mouth with my hand as I rolled out of bed. Jumped to my feet. Headed down the stairs to the bathroom below.

I made it just in time, genuflecting to the porcelain goddess as I lost what had once been my dinner. I groaned. Oh, God! He had tried to mark me. Not kill me. Mark me. Make me his. I could remember his sour stench, his foul-smelling breath and the way he had tasted, a blend of alcohol and stale cigarettes.

My guts clenched again, and I retched as I tried to purge what remained. If only I could purge these thoughts just as easily.

I became aware of a body in the doorway. Caleb was there, but he didn't stay put. The next moment he was on the floor behind me, arms encircling my torso as he pulled me into his lap.

Oh, fuck! It was true. He really hadn't been trying to kill me. Caleb had even admitted that much. "No babe. He wasn't trying to kill you, he—"

Oh, God. He knew.

He knew. He knew. He knew. Caleb knew. I was used. Damaged goods. Marked. Marked by some lunatic who had set his sights on me, tracked me down and tried to—

But I'd fought. I didn't want it. Caleb had to know that, right? That I didn't want it. Hadn't wanted it.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. I couldn't stop shaking. Tears were leaking from the corner of my eyes.

"Babe?"

"I didn't want—" I blubbered. I tried to wipe my face with my hands, but I couldn't stop them from trembling. My voice was hitching in my chest. "I didn't mean to—"

"Shh..." Caleb cooed. "Take a breath, sweetie. You're not making any sense."

I did, and the air was suddenly flooded with his scent. The scent of my mate. He stroked my hair as he held me against his chest. "It's okay," he murmured. "Everything's okay."

"But I love you."

"I know you do, sweet—"

"I don't want to be paired with him—"

"What? Him? Him who? What are you talking about, Augustus?"

"He bit me. My neck." That was it, wasn't it? That was why everyone was always smelling my neck. Caleb. Zeke. That freak. He had smelt me that first moon, just before he had grabbed my ass. The ass-grab had offended me, but it was his smelling me that had set off my wolf. He knew. My wolf knew. I was just too stupid to realize.