Trust Me - |Bill Kaulitz|

you're back

This is how my days passed. I broke the promise I made to Bill, but whatever - he's not here and won't be...So I just sat in the bathroom crying. It's too hard to let him go. To let go of what happened . Almost several weeks have passed, and I still continued to destroy myself. In different ways. This was the only way to temporarily help me focus on something . For Example, I made more paintings. Different ones. It was easier for me to do something for work because my creativity grew due to my mood. To be honest, my works were not cheerful, but still my boss liked them, so nothing bad about that. Walking through the park, I very often saw our place under the tree with Bill. That's why I didn't go there anymore. And when I happened to pass by his studio, I wanted to cry..Today was one of those evenings when I wanted to go to my usual favourite bar. Everything is like in the past.I got up from the bathroom floor, turning off the tap in the sink and reaching for a bandage.I didn't want to dress up or do anything, I just wanted to change the environment and get drunk. To finally get out of the house.I quickly put on some random jeans and a long-sleeved shirt and jacket on top. As I walked out of the house, a light breeze began to blow my hair straight into my face. Hmm, the weather is clearly starting to turn chilly in the fall.At least something that I can definitely focus on. I almost approached the bar and heard familiar jazz music. Oh yeah, this is my favorite bar.

As soon as I walked in, the same bartender noticed me and immediately started preparing my drink. I sat down on a chair right in front of the bar as soon as the bartender set down my drink without further ado - this guy really knows me well.. My favorite long island iced tea. The best.

I polished off the first drink in almost five minutes while continuing to enjoy the evening. After a couple of drinks, I felt relief. How long have I wanted this? It doesn't matter, the main thing is that somehow I drowned my damn thoughts and was able to feel a little relief.

All of a sudden, when someone approached me at the bar, I glared at him coldly. Him again? He specifically knows when I finally feel at least a little relief to ruin it. Fucking Bill was here. Is he going to ruin my night?

"I knew you would be here!"

he said happily, smiling widely. Ugh, he looks like he really is that happy. A tense smile and bags under his eyes. He looked like a creep.

"What do you want?"

I asked.

"Please, Kass, just hear me out," Bill pleaded. "I know I hurt you, but it's not what you think - everything is much more complicated and convoluted than you think."

I folded my arms defiantly.

"Enlighten me then. What amazing excuse do you have this time?"

Bill took a deep breath.

"The man I cheated with, he blackmailed me. Years ago, we took some private photos of me, and he said he'd release them to the press if I didn't do what he wanted."

"How convenient,"

I sneered.

"And I suppose you just went along with it to 'protect' your important career?"

"Kass, you have to believe me."

He reached for my hand, but I pulled away. God, what is he trying to achieve? What is he trying to do and prove again?

"I wanted to tell you the truth, but I was ashamed and scared. I know I did some wrong things."

I felt my eyes flash angrily.

"Do you have any idea what you put me through these past weeks? I grieved for us, for what I thought we had!"

"I know, and I hate myself for hurting you,"