Stuck in the 50s (girlxgirl)

Smarting or Hurting

The last few days of school whizzed by and then it was summer.

I laid in bed and cried and that was pretty much it. It hurt to move or think because then she would take over my mind and I missed her too much.

We had just begun. How cruel was the world to take her away from me now?

I knew the funeral was tomorrow and I had to go. Even though the whole town had pretty much hated her, everyone was goin'. That's just how it was in Bluewall.

But I still couldn't imagine even getting out of bed.

-

I stared at myself in the mirror. My blonde hair hung limply on my shoulders and my skin was pale and gaunt.

The dress was black and long and depressin'.

Fittin'.

My parents were waitin' for me downstairs lookin' solemn.

It made me mad. They hated her. They were awful to her. How could they sit there like that and pretend to mourn for her. A girl they hated.

"How you feelin' honey?" Dad said.

I said nothin' and just walked out the door.

Surprisingly I didn't cry throughout the whole funeral. I had already done enough crying and I didn't have anythin' left in my body.

Everyone kept glancin' at me durin' the funeral. I wanted to bark at them to take a picture, it'd last longer.

Maybe some were worried about me, but mostly they just wanted to see how I'd react.

I hated them all.

Suddenly my parents began to walk to the front.

My brow furrowed and I gave them a look but they ignored me and walked to the microphone.

"Hello." Dad said. "We are Carolina's parents as you all know." He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. "When we found out about Car and Brooklyn we were devastated."

Now I was mad. So were they gonna go up there and hate on her now? She's already dead so why not? I wanted to kill them.

Now mom spoke. "We didn't take it well. We said awful things and now... We're sorry."

I gasped and locked eyes with them. They were apologizin'?

"We should've accepted them." My dad continued. "Before it was too late... And now there's no time. And we're sorry."

"There's nothin' wrong with bein' gay." My mom said. "And now we need to be there for her family and for Carolina. She was in love."

Dad looked out at the crowd, his eyes waterin'.

He never cried.

"So raise your hand if you're sorry for what you thought or the way you acted when you found out about them."

I looked around and slowly, but surely every single person raised their hand. Now tears began to stream down my face. If only Brooklyn could've been here.

"Thank you." I choked out.

I felt someone squeeze my hand.

I turned to see Lexie. She looked as gorgeous as ever but her makeup was smudged and her eyes were red and puffy.

"It'll be okay." She whispered.

I leaned into her and cried. She was like the big sister I never had and I loved her so much. She'd done so much for me.

After all the speakers spoke it was time to pay respects and for the burial.

It was an open casket.

I hadn't looked at her yet and I didn't know if I could.

I felt so nervous.

"You can do it." Lexie whispered when it was my turn to go up to the casket and say goodbye and put a flower and a random or not random token that meant somethin' to you in it.

I stepped up and let out a relieved sigh. She didn't look scary or pale, just like she was sleepin'. Takin' a long nap.

I slowly and carefully placed a single yellow rose on her chest like you were supposed to and then I looked at what was in my hand.

It was a silver diamond earring that was chippin' and dirty. We had found a pair together, buried in her backyard and each taken one.

Now she deserved both.

I placed it near her shoulder. She looked beautiful like that.

Her hair was splayed out and everyone's flowers covered her chest and stomach and she was lined with trinkets and more to come.

I stepped down and waited as Lexie put a daisy on her and then lay a mini Pom-Pom near her feet. It was the first one she ever got.

She smiled solemnly at me as she stepped down and we walked to the open grave.

Finally they carried the closed casket over and began to lower it into the ground.

Everyone stepped forward with a handful of dirt and threw it on, startin' the burial process. I was last.

Then they shoveled on dirt. You couldn't see the coffin anymore.

And they patted down the dirt.

And she was gone.

Now there was only a tombstone to remember her by.

My first love.

At home that day there was a lot of food. People sent more to her family obviously, but then some here too.

I guess everyone really is acceptin' now.

Too bad it's to late.

AN: Funeral😭 I'm back! And I have ideasssss! So actually this book will be over soon... Hope you guys liked this chapter!

- G. Schreiber

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