WANTED BY YOU || book 4

CHAPTER 14

⋆୨୧ Mikaili ୨୧⋆

song: Billie Eilish - chihiro

I had no intention on messaging Matthew to meet up with me.

I would never be the first to reach out because that's just bad for business if I'm being serious. Normally, the boy is the desperate one and he reaches out to the girl to make plans. But in my favour, I reached out for once in my life.

I don't know why, but maybe it's because of what he said back at the hospital.

Maybe it's because he made me feel like somebody was there to truly try and know me.

Maybe it's because his charming face is slowly but surely making an affect on me. Though, I wouldn't say that directly to him.

My idea on letting Matthew down slowly was failing because the man was clearly getting attached. And I've hardly even began phase two of my plan.

Matthew was going to be needed very soon. He had no idea how much of an important chess piece he is in this game of love and power.

He doesn't even know what he got himself into when he created the whole affair alliance.

And right now he doesn't even know how he's meddling with my whole plan for revenge.

He doesn't even know how the affect of his words is torturing me right now. Not because I'm flattered by him but because it's making me question my whole relationship with him.

It isn't love, that's for sure.

I had no love for anyone but my parents and sister. I wasn't even sure if I knew how to love someone anymore.

"It's alright if you don't know how to love"

Matthews words lingered in my head. Like a melody, it ran through my head over and over. Even when he said it, I was debating to answer back. Asking him if he'd teach me how to love.

Stupid question.

You can't learn how to love.

Love is something you find in its purest form. Something you find within someone else.

Love is like swans as my mother describes it.

Swans have a beautiful way of expressing love. They fell in love once, and if their lover died. They had no meaning for life anymore. Simply because a life without your lover isn't worth living for. So, they'd kill themselves to be reunited with their loved one in another universe.

I found it beautiful when I was younger. Before Trixie, I was the hopeless romantic. I would always dream about meeting my prince charming. Like the ones in the fairytales.

But once you get older you realise not everything is sugar-coated like it was in the books. Betrayal and unfaithful were two of the biggest enemies in love.

Most people got married to escape reality. Others got married for the fun of it. Some got married in hopes of living that fairytale love.

Some being me.

I unfortunately, was a victim to the hopeless romantic group. Although me and Benson's marriage was particularly an arranged marriage, I did fall in love with him to soon for the matter.

I thought he was my prince charming and at some point I did think I'd have his children.

But now, as I sit here in bed, completely out of it and most definitely still hang over from all the wine I've been drinking yesterday. I realise that not everyone is what you painted them out to be.