WANTED BY YOU || book 4

CHAPTER 15

⋆୨୧ Mikaili ୨୧⋆

song : SZA - conceited

Work was crazy when you had interns running around like crazy. All trying to impress the attendees like me who were chief of certain departments.

Trying to win a spot to scrub in during a surgery that they knew they weren't going to do anything.

Majority of the interns were like puppies following me around. They would ask me if I needed something done sooner or later and they'd bring me coffee every morning. They'd think coffee was what would get them a spot in my OR, but that wouldn't even give them ten percent of a chance in my surgery.

It requires hardwork.

Skill.

And most importantly, it would require a lot of focus.

You can't just decide you'd want to be a doctor one day and then just hold the scalpel like you knew shit.

Fuck no.

Being a surgeon takes time and years to get on that level. It's long but worth it by a long shot.

I mean, I was just as impatient when I became an intern. But I learnt a lot when I was in training.

I can also see some great potential doctors out there among the interns. Some that aren't trying to win over attendees by buying coffee or doing their rounds. They worked smarter and way much faster then the rest.

So that is what made days like these slightly entertaining.

I had two surgeries and one was with Avery and Mia. It was a trauma patient and she was a child as well.

Apparently she has some bleeding going on in the head so we need a neurosurgeon with us in the OR.

The kid was having failure with her heart and I needed to check up on it. Mia being chief of pediatrics, she was also in charge of the child. Avery was chief of trauma so this was definitely his everyday experience.

I was standing at the counter signing a few discharge forms from patients. Matthew was on my mind all day, and I was even tempted to message him.

I didn't like how I left off yesterday, but I knew it was for the best because if I stayed. It would have ended up with me second guessing myself even more.

What if we still want to keep Matthew in our life?

My brain spoke to me as I stared at the wall across from me. I was subconsciously clicking the pen as I thought more to myself again.

We can't keep him. He wouldn't want us once he knows what we doing.

I really wish Trixie was here at times like this. She'd tell me what I was doing was right but wrong for using Matthew. She'd tell me it was alright to keep him and if he would, I could explain myself to him.

She'd also tell me that everyone deserves love, even I do. Even when I don't think I deserve it, I do.

I was so lost in my daydreaming I haven't even noticed Mia standing besides me, ranting about some random gossip she picked up from the nurses.