Because of Kumu (Part 2)

[Part 2] Chapter 5

February 2022 I wasn't ready for love, but if the person is meant for you, God will give you the right person. 

Hindi pa ako ready for relationship non, dahil na din sa ginawa ni Sean sakin. Siya yung last na taong hahayaan kong saktan ako ng ganun, pinangako kong kung hindi man siya yung para sakin, titigil nakong maghanap ng para sakin. 

Bryan and I met sa stream, where Sean came, and ghosted me for the second time. He's my lowkey supporter, we've never actually vibed that much sa stream, kasi feeling ko sobrang high ng energy ko to have convo with him. I remember how chill he was on my stream while he was supporting me compared to my energy. He's nice, and the only one who actually stayed sa group namin even after ng mga campaigns namin. Eto nanaman po tayo sa usapang lalaki!!! Hayst..

If a guy messaged me outside kumu, it sometimes becomes weird for me, like...What's that for? I understand if sobrang close ko na talaga, but like usually kasi, umaamin sila agad, or like tinatanong ako agad if pwede ba nila akong ligawan, or straight to the point na "Gusto kita". Bryan and I had conversations, but more on "Hi, nakalive ka?" "Hi kumusta?" Alam niyo yun? Typical friends. When ate Chie and ate Luan were busy, he's the only person who stays and talk to me. Dun ko na din siya nakilala sa kumu, so when we were talking outside kumu, hindi na masyadong weird sakin yun, but I still have questions. 

Nagstart kaming magvideo call, and started to have deep talks. First time kong nagopen na umiiyak about sa mga nangyari sa buhay ko. He respected my stories, and even gave sympathy for what happened to me in the past. Mula non, nagstart nang nagrow yung feelings ko sakanya, and forgot about Sean immediately.

March 2022 You know, casual talks with Bry. Our friends were starting to ask me kung ano nang meron samin, since lagi na nilang napapansin na unti unti nang nawawala sa livestream si Bry, but then malalaman nalang nila na magka-usap kami.

"Ate, pero bakit magka-video call kayo?" Asked ate Norika sa livestream habang nagaasaran kami.

"Oo nga, parang palagi na kayong magkausap ha" Said ate Luan. 

Yung set up kasi, kaya hindi na din ako naweirduhan nung nagusap kami ni Bry in private, ay dahil nagstart kaming makavibe siya nang kasama ang pinaka close kong friends sa kumu, which is ang group namin nila ate Luan. So nung time na hindi na kami masyadong active ni Bry sa mga livestreams, tapos malalaman nilang magkausap kami, dun na nila kami masyadong inasar for each other. (Alam mo naman kung pano mang-asar mga kaibigan, yung kahit wala namang malisya yung pagkakaibigan mo sa isang lalaki, magkakaroon at magkakaroon talaga yan, at yun yung nangyari).

Isang gabi, nagsabi si Bry na meron siyang nabiling soju, eh nung time na yun, gustong gusto ko talagang makatikim non. So out of nowhere, I don't know if he bought it because he wanted to show me na meron siyang soju, or sadyang gusto lang talaga niyang makainom non. Talagang tinawagan pa ako para lang ipakita sakinnn>.<

"Ay Elle, may soju ako ditoo!!" Bry said.

"Halaaa!! Sojuuu!! I want sojuu" I replied.

"You want soju? Halika." Pabiro niyang sinabi.

"Ang daya naman." Reply ko. "Sige nga, inumin mo nga ng diretso?" Hamon ko sakanya, then tumawa kaming dalawa.

"Luh? Grabe ka naman!" Sagot niya, pero ginawa din naman niya! Hindi naman niya ininom nang diretso talaga, pero tuloy tuloy!! No chaser, or like baso, talagang straight from the bottle talaga!!

"Huey! Joke lang naman eh! Okay lang ba yang lalamunan mo??" Tanong ko.

*Burps

"Yes." He answered, then nagsstart ko nang makita yung pagsisisi sa mga mata niya HAHAHAHA

"Ano kamusta? Okay ka lang ba?" I asked habang natatawa.

"Hindi, okay lang ako HAHAHAHA" he answered, then started to zone out.

I was getting ready to school when he drunk soju, so nung medyo umiimpact na yung ininom niya, nasa class nako nun. Nandun na siya nagsstart na diretsong chinachat ako. Sweet kami sa isa't isa as friends, but like, he was never like that. I didn't find it weird, natuwa lang ako sakanya. Nagstart na din siyang magsend ng vm's to confess, which I didn't expect that will happen, pero ginamit ko na din as a way to know his real feelings towards me, dahil before nang time na umaamin siya sakin, gusto na din talaga siya.