June 2022 Dumating ako sa point na sobrang napapagod na ako mentally sa relationship. I feel like I was not growing at all. I overthink a lot, I gaslight myself that everything is okay. People around me were keep asking...Kaya mo pa ba? Ba't lumalaban ka pa? Sa totoo lang, hindi ko din alam bat nilalaban ko pa yung relasyong, ako na lang yung may gusto. Eto yung mahirap sakin eh, ang bilis kong mapaniwala ng isang tao. Isang Hi, isang sweet message, isang good deed lang, makukuha na nila ako agad. Di ba ako napapagod?
I reconnected with Bry after a week of cool off. I asked him if he wanted to continue, but he wasn't sure at all. Kung tatanungin niyo ako, gusto ko pang ituloy, pero pano o itutuloy kung walang pagbabago?
I ended things up. Hindi lang para sakin, kundi para sakanya. We ended it well. We talked about it, we've make sure na okay both sides, and we separated ways. Nung una okay lang sakin, kasi atleast I have to let go all the pain. Wala na akong pinang hahawakan. I have freedom. But after weeks, dun na nag sisink in sakin lahat. He was the best guy I've ever met online. My mom was keep asking me...
"Asan na si Bry?" "Di na ba kayo nag-uusap ni Bry?"
In denial pa ako nung una, lagi kong sagot ay "Busy lang siya." I can't accept it as well. Akala ko after weeks, he's gonna message and beg for forgiveness, and ask me to comeback. Pero naalala kong scripted nga pala yung mga nangyayari sa teleserye.
Way back May, kaya naglead din into break up ang relationship namin. I lost friends. They ignored me like I don't exist at all. Then after nun is prom. And Bry wasn't messaging me at all. I remember how heartbroken I am that day, and my parents have no idea about it. My kuya came home in the Philippines nung June, mentioning about Bryan to my family, without knowing that we already broke up. I cried a lot, I called ate Luan for help, and kept telling me to fight and be strong. Strong naman ako eh, nung day lang ng Prom ko, its just too much!
"Elle, I know its hard to do, pero kung ako sayo, I'll go and get ready for prom na. If you have your make up on, you'll feel pretty, and will forget about everything." said ate Luan.
"Eh ate, I don't even wanna go to prom na, bukod sa heart broken ako, I don't have any friends to go with." I said, while my tears keeps falling.
"I know. I'm sure there's other groups that are willing to dance with you. Just keep trying, I know you can do it." She said, then encouraged me to get ready, dahil ilang oras na din ay mag sstart na din yung prom, and wala pa akong nagagawa ni isa.
I ended the call, and stared at my dress. Ang nakakatawa, nanghinayang agad ako sa ginastos namin sa dress and tickets. This is my first prom, and its sadly memorable.
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Because of Kumu (Part 2)
No FicciónIt was a NON-FICTION tag-lish story, It was kind of romantic drama thing, it was all about my Kumu Journey (Kumu is a friendly filipino app), about who once I loved before, about my friends, and how I almost dropped my classes because of using it. ...
