𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐀 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫 | 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐊𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳

➤ The Differences of Loving and Being Loved

Spending the whole night yesterday thinking about the time me and Tom shared.

It frustrates me that I truly can't remember anything about him and all of our past moments together.

Who were we? What exactly did we do and what did we say to each other? How did we say it? How did we look at each other?

Did he really love me? Because.. I can feel It.

But, I had one question that spiraled my thoughts Into a mess.

Why didn't he visit me In the hospital?

How could he leave me there.. alone. Drowning in the thoughts and questions and everything being such an overwhelming experience for me.

How could he leave me for days like that, and come back to bake pizza's with me?

I'm so confused..

Next morning, I grabbed my notebook and pen. Tapping the pen rhythmically on my desk. Thinking about what to write down.

Deeply sighing. It's been years since I've written anything like this.. that's one thing to remember so clearly.

I flipped the pages until I reached the first blank page.

Placing my pen down.. I started to write

"The differences of Loving and Being Loved."

"To love is to give someone a selfless act of devotion and care. Placing another's needs above your own, Offering your heart without a single spare."

I wrote. Taking deep breath's. Shaking my legs out of nervousness.

"But to be loved is to receive, a miracle of acceptance, pure and true. To be seen, understood, and cherished, For all that you are, and all that you do."

I wrote, smiling to myself In a melancholy mood.

"In loving, there is vulnerability, a risk of rejection, of heartbreak and pain. Yet the reward is a profound connection, A bond that transcends joy and disdain."

I spoke as I wrote. Thinking about Tom the entire time my pen stained ink onto my notebook's page.

"Amidst the world's chaos and strife.."

Writing this, I thought about all of the conflict I've experienced. And how Tom supposedly stuck around until I was found.

"For to love is the essence of living,
A dance of giving and taking, face to face."

I wrote, clicking my pen back and closing my notebook with a sigh.

The way I spoke about Tom In the previous pages..

The ways he looked at me and cared for me ever so deeply.

There I realized, Tom Kaulitz was the first person to give and let me feel equally returned love.

I aggressively opened my drawers In a faster pace and placed both, my notebook and pen Inside. Shutting It after.

Sitting down on my desk, I was overwhelmed.

With everything going on.. who wouldn't be?

I decided to grab my phone as It was on my bed.

Dialing someone's number.

I needed to know and understand what me and Tom had from another person's perspective.

What did they see? What did they understand?

"Hallo?" Bill spoke as I called him.

"Hey! It's Fae.." I spoke, pulling myself together.