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by dorajar

by dorajar

billie paced around the room as her eyes glossed over. rage bubbled inside of her at every sound—talking, breathing, drinking, chewing, even laughing. her hands formed into fists as her legs moved faster and faster. her chest heaved and small tears started spilling from her eyes. she stopped in her tracks, stomping on the floor. "ou-out!" she screamed, pointing to the door, more tears streaming down her face. she fell onto the floor, sobbing into her hands. she let out an angry sob at the sound of a zipper. feet pattered on the floor and the door opened and closed.

she heard feet approaching her and out of anger she started hitting herself. she felt someone put something on her head, making every sound in the room muffled. gentle hands pulled her hands away from her head before picking her up. the same gentle hands came in contact with her face, wiping her tears, it was hayley. billie soon realized that what hayley had put on her was a pair of ear defenders. her girlfriends hands softly pulled her close, her hands caressing her body. "you wanna tell me what's wrong?" hayley inquired, great concern laced in her voice.

"i'm so sad!" billie sobbed. "you're gonna be okay, baby." hayley uttered, rubbing billie's back. "i-i- um, i hurt myself..." billie sniffled, pointing to her thigh. "oh, baby girl," hayley frowned. "it's okay, bug." she said softly, rocking billie in her arms. "are you mad at me?" billie asked, her breathing shuddering as tears streamed down her face. "no, baby," hayley smiled. "did you clean them?" she asked. "n-no," billie shook her head. "let's get them all cleaned and bandaged up, yeah?" she cooed. billie nodded her head, rubbing her eyes. hayley softly pressed her lips to billie's forehead.

"thank you for telling me." she murmured, running her fingers through billie's hair. "i'm sorry, haysie..." billie frowned. "it's okay, baby." hayley said, soft green eyes meeting billie's woebegone blue ones.

"there we go!" hayley grinned, rubbing billie's thigh. she planted a soft kiss atop the bandaid. "when did you get these?" billie asked, playing with the ear defenders. "right before we left in case you really needed some noise cancellation." hayley hummed, pulling billie's pants back up. "thank you," billie smiled. "i like how they don't look really like ear defenders!" she beamed. "yeah?" hayley tilted her head. "mmm, yeah..." billie mumbled, blush creeping up her cheeks. "and i really like the color!" she added. "i'm glad!" hayley said, pulling billie into a hug. "you feeling better?" hayley questioned. "a little." billie mumbled.

"anything i can do?" hayley queried. "just hold me." billie said, cuddling into hayley. "i can do that." hayley smiled, her finger softly tracing shapes on billie's back. "what the hell are you drawing?" billie giggled, feeling hayley draw a bunch of straight lines up, down, diagonally, and across on her back. "you son of a bitch," hayley grumbled. "now i gotta restart!" she whined, poking billie's side. "and you're gonna guess what i'm drawing." she sassed. "you know what? maybe i will guess!" billie exclaimed. hayley let out a chuckle as she started tracing a square. she drew two diagonal lines on the top of the square.

billie felt hayley draw more squares inside the bigger one. "what on earth!?" billie laughed. "a house?" she furrowed her brows. "yeah, baby!" hayley cheered. "i'm so good!" billie grinned. "one more, baby, i got this." she said. "yeah right." hayley joked, starting to trace a circle. billie gasped when she felt small half circles being drawn around the bigger circle. "flower!" she grinned. "yes, good job!" hayley cooed. "kiss, please, haysie..." billie mumbled meekly. "such a shy girl." hayley chuckled, softly caressing billie's cheek. she leaned forward, pressing their lips together.

she slowly pulled away to see her girlfriend with bright red cheeks. "one more..." billie pouted. hayley shook her head, reconnecting their lips. billie tightly grabbed the shoulder fabric of hayley's t-shirt. she mewled into the kiss, pressing herself closer to hayley. she shuffled on hayley's lap, attempting to straddle it. hayley grabbed billie's waist, rubbing it up and down. she pulled away, earning a whine from billie. "i wanna hear more about your feelings, baby." hayley sighed. "it's just a spout of depression." billie shrugged.

"don't shrug it off, baby." hayley frowned. "i want you to talk me through your thoughts and feelings," she uttered. "can you do that for me?" she hummed. "umm, my, like, my-my chest feels heavy." billie said. "anything else? what's going on in your head?" hayley inquired. "i'm having really, really bad thoughts..." billie mumbled. "you wanna tell me what they are?" hayley tilted her head, her hands softly caressing billie's thighs. "my brain is telling me such scary stuff," billie frowned, water pooling in her eyes.

"it's telling me to-to, um, kill myself," she admitted, her lower lip wobbling as tears rolled down her cheeks. "and, um, like, ways i should—and could—do it." she cried. "i'm not gonna let you do that, baby," hayley purred, pulling billie into a tight hug. "you're gonna be okay," she whispered. "i promise." she added, her fingers finding billie's scalp, massaging it.

billie walked off stage, rushing to find her girlfriend. "where's hayley?" she asked hurriedly. "i need hayley." she said her voice wavering. "i don't know, honey." maggie said softly, trying to pull billie into a hug. billie quickly shifted away not wanting anyone—except hayley—to touch her. she could feel more tears trickling down her cheeks as she hastily walked around to find hayley. "haysie?" she called out. "haysie!" she cried. she sat down on the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest. she laid her head down, crying into her knees. she heard someone walk up to her and sit down. "i'm right here, baby." hayley said softly.

"i couldn't find you," billie sobbed. "i was so scared!" she wailed. "i was in the bathroom, baby," hayley said softly. she pulled billie onto her lap. "i got you," she hummed. "talk to me." she purred. "i just really needed a hug from you." billie sniffled. "let's go back to the green room, yeah?" hayley cooed. "mhm..." billie mewled. hayley stood up, holding billie up by her ass. billie wrapped her legs around the older woman, burying her face in the crook of her neck. hayley felt a small kiss on her neck. "thank you, baby." hayley murmured. she opened the green room door and walked in. "is she making you carry her?" maggie asked.

"no," hayley shook her head. "watch your legs," she mumbled as she sat down on the couch. "i chose to carry her." she smiled, softly rubbing billie's back. billie sat up and waited her tears. she carefully moved one of her legs to the other side so she would sit sideways on hayley's lap. she rested her head on hayley's shoulder. "tighter, please." billie mewled. "i gotchu, bil." hayley said softly, tightening her grip on billie.

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1179 words

not proofread
short chapter bc idk what else to write😝