I Never Thought I Needed You

Chapter 6 (Can)

As I drove to work this morning, my mind drifted back to last night:

She pulled back from the kiss. "Wow"

I nodded in agreement and before she could say a word. I pressed her against the wall, our tongues intertwined and our hands were eagerly exploring each other. Her fingers found the hem of my shirt and she removed my buttons as quick as she could. Even in my drunk state, I had to be a gentleman, "you really want this Sanem?" 

"Yes" she murmured, running her fingertips along my abs and planting a kiss on my chest. Eager to feel her skin against mine, I slowly lowered the zipper on her dress.  

In the party: 

I massaged my lower lip thoughtfully with one finger, a curse slipped from my lips. I can't believe Sanem is leaving us. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Sanem entering the restaurant, her incredible legs carrying her gracefully.  I saw her place her order with the bartender in her pleasant, seductive voice. She looked beautiful in her dress - she was a knockout beauty who could rival any model. I was entranced. She had a magnetic effect on me, like a potent drug I couldn't resist. Whenever she was near, I felt like a bumbling fool. The only coherent thought in my mind was to bring up her drink of choice. Thank goodness she had a charming personality and reciprocated my flirtation. Her nerdy side was particularly endearing, especially when she shared some random information with me. But, being the fool that I am, all I could muster was a simple "wow." And before I could redeem myself, Ali appeared disrupting our conversation. Normally, I liked the guy, but in this moment, he is irritating. 

Throughout the night, I tried to approach her in various ways or I would occasionally steal glances in her direction. As the evening progressed, I mustered the courage to engage her in conversation. I was happy to know that she read 'Letters to Milena,' because it is rare to know someone who appreciate classic literature like I do. Taking a leap of faith, I asked her if she was hungry, offering my hand as the invitation. The rest of the night unfolded with shared laughter, great conversations, and fine wine. I found myself hanging on her every word and her not-that-bad acting. I never wanted the night to end. When the food truck vendor gave us shots, is when our night took an interesting turn. All I remember was our electric kisses and then taking out our clothes. My mouth moved slowly against hers, as though I never wanted this to end. My other hand curled around her waist, caressing her. God she smelled so good. "Sanem" I moaned, crushing my mouth to hers. My thrusts gradually slowing to a deep grind as she yelled out her orgasm. 

Waking up this morning I felt empty. I wanted us to talk and face what happened. I hope she didn't regret it because even if I don't remember the night completely she woke up these feeling in me, I felt euphoria. Ive never felt that with any woman. 

As an actor I've never had an issue getting my fair share of women but lately it has been harder and harder for me to find the time and energy to build a connection over the last two years. Especially when every woman who was interested in me was a replica of the one before: plastic, botox, extensions, excessive makeup, and detox diets. Sometimes a man wanted a real woman. Sanem was a real woman. 

----***----

I arrive at the coffee shop and I see her sitting down in the far corner. Im in my baseball cap and sunglasses to avoid being recognized. The worst part of being an actor is not having the privacy to enjoy life and people. "Hello Sanem." I say as I sit down. "Hello Mr. Can" Patience is my strong suit but at this moments I wished that she would skip the formalities. 

She opens her mouth to talk but takes a deep breath first. "Can I was so intoxicated and I don't remember what happened...it was wrong and I think it's best if we forget about last night." Forget? What could be wrong about something that felt right? 

"You're saying this is a mistake? So you don't think we should figure this out? Last night and this chemistry is not worth to try." I wanted to hold her hands, I know we haven't met long but something about her makes me want touch her. 

"No" she says firmly. 

I want to argue with her and show her how we should at least entertain this idea but right now I don't have it in me to fight. "Fine" I reply with a short temper. "Whatever you want. We leave this here." 

"Good" was all she said and I left before I could second guess what the hell I was doing. This woman was confusing me and I got the feeling she wasn't going to shift her attitude no matter how much I wanted her to. 

----***----

It's been over a month and Sanem has left the company. Since our confrontation my mind hasn't stopped thinking about her. Every night, my thoughts drifted back to our shared moments - the late-night drunk conversation, the meaningful kiss we shared. These memories meant something for me and I know she feels the same, her eyes told me so. I need to find a way to show her that she belongs with me. It's Friday 6:15pm and I needed to find her. 

"Oh man!" Said Metin as we both walk out of the office. 

"What?" 

"You got that face."

"What face?" I'm slowly becoming irritated. I curse the day I asked him to come help me with some contracts. 

"That determined face you made when you got a target. A woman specifically." He wiggled his brows. 

I grunted at Metin. He is right but I won't give him the satisfaction to know that. 

I drive to Aylin's office and waited for Sanem to walk out. I know how much of hard worker she is, she must be typing away. A few minutes later, I see her walking out a bit dazed. 

"Hey" I gently approached her.

"Can? What are you doing here?" She looks around. 

I scratched my head because I didn't really think this through but I thought, screw it. "I wanted to see you." Her eyes widened as she looked up at me. She was beautiful. She never needed makeup or pretty clothes to make her attractive. 

"I shouldn't have left without saying goodbye." She murmurs as we stopped by her car. It took me a minute to understand that she was talking about the night we spent together. Bravely, I hold her hand softly stopping her from moving. I was a lion scared to make its prey run, I slowly lift her hand and gently kiss it. 

"Sanem. I-" 

"Oh no!" She removes her hand pressing it to her mouth and begins running.  

"What the heck?!" I run after her as she makes her way to the nearest trash can and empties her stomach. The site of puke would make me run, but with Sanem I wanted to stay beside her. I had no idea what to do, should I hold her hair back? Opting instead to search my pockets for a tissue, I handed it to her. "I'm sorry," she murmured, resting her head against the cold metal rim of the garbage bin. "I don't know what's been happening to me lately. I've been having nausea, I'm irritated... I need to go home. My body is telling me to rest."

"I'll help you." She looked pale and I was not going to let her go home on her own. 

She wrinkled her nose as she lets me to guide her to my car. "Thank you." Following her instructions, I parked the truck and together we entered her building. As she gazed up at the flights of stairs a heavy sigh escaped her. "I'd pay anything for an elevator at this moment," she murmured. 

"I can carry you," I offered. "Pish, no," she protested, but I ignored her and slid an arm underneath her knees, lifting her into my arms. Cradling her close, I took a moment to inhale the intoxicating scent of her hair. Wildflowers. 

"This is my door," she informed me. I persisted in carrying her, allowing her to open the door as I held her securely. Once inside the apartment, I placed her on the couch when I realize that she had lost consciousness. 

"Sanem" I called her softly, lightly patting her face. No response.

I check her pulse, steady. 

"Sanem" I tried again. She wasn't reacting so I hurriedly reached for my phone and dialed 911.