I Never Thought I Needed You

Chapter 13

Another writer? 

Aylin dropped a bomb, laughed, and walk off. I turned to look at Can but his eyes were shifting. I instantly knew that he was hiding something. The air thickened with tension as I instinctively withdrew my hand from his grasp, my voice barely above a whisper and I uttered urgently in his ear "are you lying to me?" 

We walked off to a secluded corner and I turn to Can. "Please tell me that I'm not thinking what I'm thinking" I implore him. Can inhales before talking, "A few years back, I was involved with a writer named Arzu who worked at Aylin's company. I ended our relationship when I found her snooping through my computer. She was trying to steal our ideas. I'm not sure what happened after that because I haven't heard from her. I promise you that we haven't crossed paths since." 

"What about Aylin? Anything with her?" 

"No never." He quickly responded and I release a sigh of relief. Why did I have to like a man whore?  "I have a past Sanem but please believe me when I tell you that you are my future."  He pleads. 

Listening to Can tell me, again, that he has a past wakes my insecurities, what if I'm not enough for him? Am I beautiful enough? Am I interesting enough to keep you? 

"Don't do that." He snaps me out of my thoughts 

"Do what?" 

"Don't doubt yourself. Don't shut this out... Don't shut me out" 

I let my thoughts seep out, barely above a whisper "Can I fear that I'm not enough for you." 

"You are everything to me," he responds, his sincerity evident. "Sanem, I'm falling for you." My heart races and I feel as if my eyes might burst with emotion; tears look like they are about to burst out. Unable to hold back any longer, I leap into his arms and kiss him with all the passion I can muster.

"I'm falling for you too," I breathe against his lips, my heart swelling with unspoken feelings.

We get back to the party and my thoughts start running, Can makes me have short moments of anger and then bring me longer times of joy and affection. Throughout the night, he held my hand, fetched me water, and checked if I'm still hungry. He truly is phenomenal.

Can went to get me a mocktail and I walk to bathroom. After I walk out of the restroom I see Polen, Deren, and Ceyda making their way towards me. I glanced around, searching for an escape route or, better yet, a magician who could make me vanish. "Wow Sanem, I didn't know you had it in you." Ceyda remarks. 

"You went to the competitor and slept your way to Can...Are you trying to get the best of both companies." Polen says. 

"Jealous?" I snap back. 

"Can will be bored of you... I can't wait for the day you'll be joining the lineup of Can's old toys." Polen retorts, a smirk on her face. I press my lips together, my mind racing thinking of giving each of them a knockout punch.

"I'm just glad you left Divit Productions. We wouldn't want someone who is perfectly okay with sleeping her way to the top," Deren snaps, her voice dripping with bitterness.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I couldn't hold back any longer. I unleashed my frustration at them. "Yes, I'm with Can—so what? Just because I'm in a relationship with him doesn't mean I slept my way to the top. I'm a talented writer and I don't need him to validate that." 

To make matters worse, Aylin is now making her way to us. "Sanem! If I haven't made myself clear." Aylin's voice cuts through the evening air. I turn and approach her but as soon as our eyes meet, I hear the words I've dreaded the most. "You're fired."

"But—"

"I don't want your pathetic excuses. It's over!" 

Laughter echoes around me, a chorus of hyenas mocking my downfall. I can't bear it, so I retreat to a quieter spot, seeking solace away from their taunts. I reach a balcony and here the cool night wraps around me, and I gaze at the Istanbul skyline, illuminated and sprawling. I can hardly process the reality: I'm unemployed and basically haven't been able to make a name for myself. I take a deep breath and take a seat on a bench. I feel like crying and I want to yell because my life isn't going in the direction that I've planned. Besides, what am I going to do now? I have a baby to care for! We need to figure this out, little one, because life isn't cheap. I say to myself as I caress my stomach. 

"There you are. I was going crazy looking for you." Can came to sit next to me and because it has been an emotional night, I hugged him tightly welcoming his comfort. Tears streamed down my face as he held me in his arms. I was grateful that we were alone because my breaths were coming out in short, shallow gasps, and my chest felt tight. He kissed the top of head and let me cry it out. 

----***----

It's 6am and as the light of dawn breaks through the curtains, the alarm shocks me awake. My hand instinctively reaches out, searching for Can beside me, but my fingers slide against the cool sheets. I'm disappointed and I roll to his side of the bed, burying my face in his pillow, inhaling his comfort warm masculine scent. I love that smell. 

Last night he was so tender and in that moment, a burst of passion overtook us, and we surrendered to that pull and made love. My thought are interrupted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of pop or crackle from the coffee maker. I roll out of the bed and head to bathroom before making my way to the kitchen. 

There in all his glory is my six pack adonis, Can Divit, in the kitchen making scrambled eggs. 

"How are you feeling love?" 

I walk closer to him and tip toe my way to his lips. "I'm feeling much better. I needed the cry." He lifts me up to the counter. 

"Last night I let you cry but today I need to know what happened." He kisses the palms of my hands. 

"Aylin fired me and I lost it." I look down at our hands.

He lift my chin to look at my eyes "why?"

"I saw Aylin's opportunity as a way to make my mark in this industry. She saw us together and I feel like I had no say in her decision." 

"Aylin is crazy and he hatred to us is what got you fired. Not your talents, that shows her lack of professionalism." 

I nodded. Not sure of what to say.

"Besides her loss is my win because if you want you are welcomed at Divit."