Soulmates

I hate to admit - Part 1

It was the first time we fought. The first time that we argued, that there was any bitterness between us. We were drifting away from each other, hurting each other. In spite of our embraces. In spite of our love.

Chris hadn't managed to discover why the Omegas had arrived and above all what they wanted with us. What they wanted with me. He was slowly losing control of our bond and of his wolf. Because of that I could feel his anger and distress deep in my bones. It was there all the time and I would wake up at night, drenched in sweat and out of breath. He didn't sleep anymore. He was looking for answers so he could protect us better. Protect me better. I could feel him becoming increasingly tense. Raw. The smallest thing that didn't go his way could make him lose it...

One evening, he left without telling me. That's when everything changed. That night I understood that I couldn't take it anymore. I loved him too much to watch him fall apart like that. Fall apart for me.

Felix and Chris are setting the table while I cook with the help of Minho and Changbin. For the first time in a long time, everyone seems at ease and laughs at Seungmin's jokes. I watch Chris for a second. He seems relaxed, with a trace of smile on his lips. It is nice to see him this way. It hadn't happened in weeks.

Felix walks by me and takes me in his arms, leaving a kiss on the back of my neck. I ruffle his hair and he lets out a contented yap. Of all the wolves in the pack, Felix is the most tender and affectionate, but also the one that most needs to receive love. It had been weeks, since Chris's wolf had become out of control, that I hadn't shown any warmth towards any of them and particularly not him. We both missed it.

All of a sudden, dishes fall to the fall in a loud crash followed by Chris's growl. I barely have time to turn around when I feel Felix drop quickly to the ground, whining in pain. He is in a fetal position and Chris, kneeling above him, holds him by the neck with a wild growl. His claws are out and his eyes shine with a menacing red glint. Thin drops of blood trickle down Felix's neck where Chris's claws are pressing. Feeling the seriousness of the situation, I look towards Minho and Changbin for help and they rush to push Chris away and free Felix from his lethal hold. Han, Jeongin, Seungmin and Hyunjin are frozen in place. My eyes meet Han's. I see panic rising in him and his breathing get faster.

I can't move. It would prove fatal for any of them. Chris is out of control. If I get closer to one of them I know he won't be able to handle it. I back away slowly, as far as I can, to protect them. Minho and Changbin are struggling to free Felix who is contorting trying to unlock Chris's hands around his neck. I breathe in and out, once to try and soothe my rising anxiety, twice to clear my mind.

"Chris. Let. Felix. Go," I say in a calm and collected voice once I am far enough away from everyone. I emphasize each word.

Chris's blood red eyes stare at me and his mouth slowly opens to reveal his fangs. He lets out a hoarse growl, louder than the others. It's a warning. I can't act like an Alpha with him. Still, while not getting any closer, I do not look away. I know I am playing with fire. I know he could turn against me at any moment, even if I'm his soulmate. But I have to do something to get him to come to his senses.

"Let. Felix. Go."

Minutes pass and no one moves, not even Felix who is having trouble breathing. Chris finally calms down. His eyes return to their usual shade of brown, but I can see he doesn't understand what is going on. He lowers his eyes to see Felix and loosens his fingers, backing away suddenly, pushing Changbin to the ground without meaning to. He seems anxious and lost. I run to him and hold him in my arms. He hides his face in his hands and collapses, his head between his knees, shaking. He is crying.

"What the fuck have I done? I can't control myself! I'm becoming dangerous! My wolf is a fucking lunatic! What am I gonna do?"

I don't know what to tell him. The others look at each other in a panic. If their pack's Alpha collapses, then the whole pack collapses with him... unless a new Alpha takes his place.