Soulmates

LMLY

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter evokes ADDICTION (alcohol mostly), EATING DISORDERS and an ANXIETY ATTACK.

Felix's visit felt overwhelming. Feeling again Chris's emotions was too. Since then, I've been doing everything to bury the bond deep inside of me. To escape from the pack and escape from him. I've dived deeper into one night stands. But my self-destructive behavior finally reached its end — have all traces of the bond disappear.

One evening, as I'm coming home after finding comfort in the arms of strangers once more, I see a shadow by my door. The street is dimly lit, my breath is like white smoke in front of me, and a thin fog hangs in the air but I know exactly who this dark shape curled up on my doorstep is. Minho.

I lean over him and shake him lightly.

"Minho?"

He growls. I kneel and wrap my arms around him. He stinks of alcohol and some heady perfume. He is half-asleep, barely conscious. His clothes have been put back on in a hurry.

"Minho, wake up."

There's no response and I can see he's having difficulty breathing. His chest rises very irregularly, as if he was out of breath. I wrap an arm around his neck to help him stand and drag him inside. He is basically dead weight.

Once in the living room, I lay him down on the couch. He lets himself fall there heavily with a muffled sound and a growl. In the lamplight I notice traces of vomit on his clothes. I drop all my things to the floor and grab a wet cloth to clean his face before taking off his dirty clothes. There are hickeys on his chest and belly and scratch marks on his back.

I wrap him up in a blanket and sit him down on the ground, taking his hand in mine.

"What's going on with you?" I whisper, knowing full well he won't answer.

Seeing him like that brings back the guilt I have been trying to ignore. Usually he's so in control of his emotions and behavior, calculating everything. And now he's completely lost control. If this is what Minho is like now, how are the others? I've never felt as worried as I feel right now. What's become of them? Felix tried to tell me everything was a mess, but I wasn't ready to believe at that point. I wasn't ready to take responsibility for how bad they were feeling. Or to own up to my responsibility as Delta. I didn't want it anymore. But now I'm thinking — maybe they need me to?

I end up nodding off as the sun rises outside the window. A growl brings me back. Minho's golden eyes are staring at me. His pupils are dilated. His fangs are out. His claws are planted in the back of my hand. His wolf seems confused. He isn't really looking like he is about to attack or defend. I try to get hold of our bond — an old reflex — to calm him down, but I can't. It's buried far too deep inside of me. His growls get louder and the pressure of his claws intensifies so that blood starts trickling down my hand.

"You're safe. I won't hurt you."

He frowns, sniffs me and growls again. He doesn't recognize my scent. Which means Chris's smell has vanished from my skin. Sadness forms a lump in my throat but I don't have time to think.

"Minho. It's Y/N."

I keep telling him soothing things in my Delta voice — the only thing I have left to protect myself. Minho has always been the most unpredictable wolf of the pack, always hiding his emotions and his intentions. He can now kill me at any moment if he decides to. And no one could stop him. He stares at me for a long time. I stop moving but I hold his stare until his eyes finally lose their golden hue and turn back to shades of brown.

"Y/N," he whispers, his voice hoarse.

His claws have disappeared. He squeezes my hand before dropping it immediately.