Soulmates

There

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter evokes SELF HARM.

We all feel euphoric as we get home. Chris has trouble standing up on his two legs since he is not used to his human form anymore so I place a hand around his waist and he places one on my shoulders. This allows me to feel the warmth of his body against mine once again. I know I have a silly grin on my face the whole way home. The pack skips and jumps around us, letting out happy yelps — even Changbin who seemed hurt after his fight with Chris.

Once home, I let Chris go to the bathroom. I want to follow him and curl up against him but I stop myself. I'm scared he'll push me away. I don't know how he would react anymore. So I just sit on the couch and wait quietly, twisting and pulling my fingers.

"Don't worry. It'll all be alright."

I turn and see Felix who smiles tenderly at me before leaving a kiss on my forehead. I smile in turn but can't calm down. Felix eventually takes my hand softly. I was biting my nails bloody and hadn't even realized.

Chris joins us. He is wearing shorts and a tee shirt. His wet curls stick to his forehead. Desire rises in me slowly when my eyes meet his. A shy smile spreads across his face. I can feel myself blushing. My emotions become overwhelming and I can't control my bond with the pack or my embarrassment. Hyunjin clears his throat and Han bursts out laughing. They all eventually throw themselves in Chris's arms laughing. The bond with the pack turns soft and warm. It's so nice seeing them all like this. I don't want to spoil the moment that they've been waiting for for months so I remain seated and just watch them smiling. It is enough to make me happy.

"Y/N, come with us."

Minho gives me a smile and reaches his hand out to me. I don't hesitate. I take it and let out a laugh when he squeezes me in with them. In the middle of this pile of bodies, in this comforting and soothing warmth, I can feel fingers intertwining with me. Chris's fingers.

Changbin eventually breaks the hug with a painful moan. He hops to a chair and sits down with difficulty. I kneel in front of him and lift up his tee-shirt. There is a huge bruise on his ribs.

"Binnie, are you wounded?" I ask.

"No. I'll be fine in a couple of days. Don't worry, Chris! Solid as a rock! My muscles protected me!" he says with a smile, seeing Chris's worried eyes.

None of them in the pack wants to leave the others, so we all stay in the living room. Lee Know reads quietly in an armchair. Seungmin and Jeongin journal. Han listens to music. Changbin plays on his phone, lying on the couch. Hyunjin and Felix watch a movie, snuggled into each other. Chris sits on the armchair in front of me. I have a book in my hands but I can't focus. I watch his face. I know he has noticed how Hyunjin and Felix look, how tired Han and Minho are. He is frowning and biting his lips, looking at nothing. I know that face well. It brings me to months ago. He is worried and I know he feels bad. I feel sad because I know I am partly responsible for his pain.

We all stay up until late in the night. The euphoria and excitement haven't come down yet. The happiness of getting a second chance at building it all again, at finding each other again and healing. Chris remains to the side, quiet, which is unusual. I am torn between wanting to be alone with him and dreading it. Wanting to come back to what we were. Dreading that something broke between us. I know nothing will ever be as it was before but I hope our bond will be even stronger for it.

The boys eventually leave the room, giving looks full of innuendos and cheeky smiles. I can't help but roll my eyes with a sigh. And yet a long silence follows. I feel uneasy. I don't know what to say. My hands are clammy and play with the fabric of my dress nervously. Chris then turns to me and looks me in the eyes. Shivers run up and down my spine and I can feel worry rising inside of me. He seems so serious and solemn. I feel queasy and out of breath. I bite my lips.