The Captain's Heart

one

11th May 2021.

Taking a seat on the edge of a bench Leah groans as she leans forward slightly, one hand pressed against her stomach as the other gently rubs her forehead. Taking a deep breath, she removes her hand from her stomach and reaches for her water to take a quick sip.

'What's going on with you later? You missed out on the game the other night, you've not been doing training with us, you're on light training duties. I swear if I didn't know you, I'd think you were pregnant.' Katie says causing Leah to roll her eyes as she shakes her head.

'I'm due on soon... I think it's going to be a bad one this month.' Leah replies.

'Oh... Do you need anything? I can see if they have some heat pads or that in the medical room?' Katie asks and Leah shakes her head.

'I'm okay, I don't really have cramps yet; I just feel a little bit queasy. Thanks though, Katie.' Leah replies smiling and the Irish defender nods her head.

'If you need anything, you know where I am, right?' Katie says.

'Mm-hmm... Thank you.' Leah replies.

'You really okay?' Lia asks softly as she glances over at her friend who bites her bottom lip.

'I don't know... I've still got a few days before my official test date but I've been bleeding a bit today and I feel like I did last time so I'm not overly confident that it's worked this time either.' Leah replies.

'Oh, Le...' Lia says as she makes her way over to the blonde who immediately shakes her head.

'It's okay. I'm okay. I wasn't getting my hopes up, remember? I knew that there was a huge chance that this wasn't going to work straight away and that's okay.' Leah replies as Lia wraps her arms tightly around her.

'I know but it's still shitty.' Lia says.

'Yeah...' Leah replies quietly. Resting her head on Lia's shoulder, she screws her eyes closed in an attempt to stop the tears that are threatening to fall. She wasn't naïve enough to think that this would work first time but she's eleven days after her second transfer and it did make her heart ache a bit when she realised she was bleeding and likely coming on her period.

****

It's been a little over an hour since she got home from training and to say she feels awful would be an understatement. The slightest movement from her horizontal position on the sofa makes her stomach churn.

'Fuck it.' She mumbles as she takes a deep breath and slowly pushes herself into a sitting position. She waits a few minutes for her stomach to settle before making her way through to her bedroom, her blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders.

'Where are they?' She says quietly as she rummages through her bedside drawer before finally coming across the opened box. Pulling out one of the unopened strips, she makes her way to the bathroom and follows the instructions before setting the strip on the edge of the sink to develop.

'Okay... Let's not get our hopes up. The bleeding has already started, albeit lightly but it's started so that usually means I'm gonna come on soon so this is probably going to be negative and that's okay. I can try again.' She says to herself as she paces around the bathroom for a few minutes to give the test time to properly develop. Taking a deep breath, she makes her way back to the sink to lift up the little strip. Lifting it nearer her face, she instantly gasps as she sees the faintest second line.

'What the fuck.' She whispers. Shaking her head, she turns around to hold the test under the light to have another look at it.

'I can't believe this.' She says to herself as she makes her way back to the bedroom, test still held in her left hand as she uses the right to rummage through the drawers for a another test.

****

'Hey, Le... Everything okay?' Lia asks softly causing the blonde to smile as she holds her phone up to her ear.

'Mm... I just feel like shit.' Leah admits biting her bottom lip, partially the truth.

'Do you want me to come over? Cait and I have just got back from dinner but she's gone for a bath so I could come over for a bit. Keep you company.' Lia suggests as Leah glances down at the line of positive pregnancy tests on her coffee table ranging from the cheap strips she'd originally taken to the more expensive digital test she'd picked up when the others came back positive.

'I don't want to ruin your night.' Leah replies.

'You're not. I can come on my own or I could wait until Caitlin is ready and we could both come over... Watch some movies or something?' Lia says.

'Yeah, that sounds good actually. You can bring Caitlin.' Leah replies smiling. She's not as close to the Aussie as she is with Lia but as a result of their relationship, she has become closer with Caitlin.

'We'll be about half an hour, that okay?' Lia asks softly.

'That's absolutely fine, Wally. Thank you for coming over.' Leah replies.

****

'How you feeling?' Lia asks softly as she follows Leah into the living room and watches the blonde sit down on the sofa.

'Shitty.' Leah admits biting her bottom lip as she glances up at the Swiss and Aussie.

'Physically or mentally? We brought some goodies... Chocolate, wine.' Lia says glancing into the bag in her hand as Caitlin watches Leah's eyes flicker towards the coffee table where there is at least ten pregnancy tests all lined up.

'What the-' Caitlin mumbles leaning forward to get a closer look at the tests as a small smile appears on Leah's face.

'Can't have the wine, sorry...' Leah says quietly.

'No?' Lia asks, tears filling her eyes as she reaches down to pick up the positive test.

'When did you take these? I thought you said- You said you're bleeding?' Lia asks and Leah nods her head.

'Like an hour after I got home. I had these little cheap ones left from the last cycle and thought because I was feeling so shitty and queasy that I'd just take one to rule it out... Then I went to Boots to get some more just to make sure and then well I just- They kept coming back positive so I kept taking more.' Leah replies biting her bottom lip as Lia squeals and immediately leans down to wrap her arms around the blonde.

'Congratulations!' Lia says grinning.

'I looked online and it said that the bleeding could be implantation bleeding which is normal and it is much lighter than my usual periods so hopefully it's just that then.' Leah replies as Caitlin moves to hug her.

'I can't believe you're having a baby...' Caitlin says causing Leah to laugh.

'Neither can I... How strange is that? I've gone through all the treatment with this being the aim and that first test came back positive and my first thought was what the fuck. I was so shocked.' Leah replies laughing.

****

Running her fingers across her stomach, Leah can't help but smile slightly as the reality that her second attempt, her second round of IVF actually worked and there's a baby growing in there; something that she wasn't sure would ever be possible as a result of her endometriosis. Resting her hand flat against her stomach, she takes a deep breath before letting out a small sigh.

'Hi, little one... I'm your mummy. I have wanted you for so, so long. It's just going to me and you in this life but I promise that I'm going to make sure you have the absolute best life, okay? I promise I am going to love you so much that you're going to get a bit sick of me when you're older.' Leah almost whispers.