The Captain's Heart

nine

5th October 2021 - Twenty-five weeks and two days pregnant.

'Come here, you...' Leah says softly as she immediately reaches out to pull the blonde into her arms.

'I'm okay.' Beth whispers.

'It's okay if you're not. You're already going through so much, Beth.' Leah says. She hears the blonde take a sharp intake of breath as she shakes her head and buries her face in her shoulder.

'Okay... I'm not okay. Everything just feels really, really shit right now.' Beth admits causing the blonde to tighten her arms around her. She'd known from the moment they turned up at training that the blonde wasn't okay, she'd heard about the breakup but this is the first time she'd actually gotten to see Beth since.

'I'm sorry.' Leah says quietly. They remain in the same position, Leah's arms wrapped tightly around the blonde, for a few minutes until Beth takes a deep breath and leans back slightly.

'What do you need? Like right now, what do you need from me, from us?' Leah asks softly causing Beth to shrug her shoulders.

'I don't know.' Beth replies quietly.

'Do you want to get drunk? I can't help you with that but I'm sure Katie would be up for that job... If you want a distraction however, I will happily take on that job. We can watch go back to my place and watch movies or we can go shopping?' Leah says.

'Second option please.' Beth says and Leah nods her head.

'Okay, movies or shopping?' Leah asks.

'Baby shopping?' Beth says causing Leah to smile.

'We can do that.' Leah replies nodding her head as Beth reaches up to wipe her cheeks.

'I should get changed.' Beth says.

'Take your time. There's no rush, we can go shopping whenever you're ready.' Leah replies.

****

'Oh look at this, Le...' Beth says smiling as she holds up a tiny little blue and white cardigan.

'Oh that's adorable. Have they got it in 3-6 months?' Leah asks and Beth flicks through the items on the rail before picking up the right size.

'Here.' Beth replies and Leah holds out the basket. Dropping the cardigan into the basket, Beth smiles as they continue looking around the shop.

'It's hard because she's going to be a little winter baby and mum says that for the first few weeks at least, maybe even first three months I'll probably just keep her in sleepsuits so I'm trying to buy outfits and stuff in bigger sizes.' Leah says and Beth nods her head.

'Yeah and because I guess you don't know what size she's going to be when she's born, do you? I know some babies are in newborn and others completely skip that size and go straight into 0-3 months.' Beth replies and Leah smiles.

'Exactly. It's just trying to cover all bases and hope that I don't buy too much of what I'm not going to need.' Leah says. They continue their walk around the store, Leah basically buying anything Beth picks up as a way of distracting her from her heartache.

'So have you settled on a name for her yet?' Beth asks causing the blonde to shake her head.

'Not 100%. I've got a few on my list but I'm not sold on any of them yet. I might just wait to see when she's born.' Leah replies.

'Can I hear any of those on your list or do you want to keep them secret?' Beth asks.

'Of course. On the list are Luna, Penelope, Georgie, Aurora and Florence.' Leah replies causing Beth to smile.

'Do you have one that you're leaning towards?' Beth asks.

'I do really like Penelope and Aurora. They're probably the two I'm leaning towards but I'm also not ruling out Luna.' Leah replies.

'I think they're all beautiful names, Leah. I'm sure whatever one you pick will be absolutely perfect for her.' Beth says smiling.

****

'Thank you for today, Le. I think I really needed this distraction from everything that is going on.' Beth admits as she curls up at one end of the sofa while Leah remains curled up at the other end.

'I know how much Daan meant to you, Beth. I know you really wanted this long-distance to work out and I really wish it had for you.' Leah says reaching out to gently squeeze the blonde's hand.

'It's just hard. I just- What if I never love anyone like I love Daan? What if I never find my person, she could've been it and now it's just all gone.' Beth almost whispers.

'I know. Right now it's going to feel like this is the absolute end of the world, I know it is. I remember going through this with Jords but I promise one day you'll wake up and not feel like your heart has been ripped out your chest.' Leah says as Beth bites her bottom lip.

'I just feel like it's one thing after another this year and I'm over it. I'm ready for this year to be over.' Beth replies and Leah nods her head.

'You've really not had the best year, Beth... Honestly, I wish that I could change it all for you because you deserve the actual world.' Leah says. Taking a deep breath, Beth sighs as she wipes her cheeks and glances up at the ceiling.

'I've got ice cream in the freezer... Want some?' Leah asks and Beth nods her head with a small laugh.

'Please.' Beth replies. Pushing herself off the sofa, Leah smiles and makes her way through to the kitchen. She grabs the tubs of ice cream and two spoons before carrying it back to Beth.

'Mm... My favourite, thank you.' Beth says smiling.

****

'So what about you and a certain dark haired Aussie then? I noticed you've been getting close lately.' Beth says causing Leah to sigh.

'What about us? Imogen is a long, long way from home and I just want her to be happy here. I want to make sure she's properly settled.' Leah replies causing Beth to smile.

'I just- I was wondering if there was potentially a little something there, a spark between the two of you.' Beth says and Leah shakes her head.

'I'm pregnant, Beth. I am certainly not looking for a relationship or anything.' Leah replies.

'Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you couldn't pursue something with Imogen if that's what you wanted...' Beth says.

'Imogen and I are just friends, Beth. Nothing more. I've done the whole being in a relationship with my teammate thing and I'm not doing that again... Things are still awkward between me and Jords and I think that hurts more than the actual breakup.' Leah admits.

'You guys will get there...' Beth says.

'Maybe but I'm just not willing to go there again... I really like Imogen as a friend and I don't want to risk losing that.' Leah replies.

'I'm just saying don't completely write off something potentially developing just because you're scared of what happened with Jordy.' Beth says causing the blonde to sigh.

'Do you want to stay the night? I no longer have a spare bed but I do have my bed although I will warn you that I get up a ridiculous amount of times to pee now.' Leah offers, attempting to change the subject causing Beth to laugh.

'I'm sure I'll survive you're multiple trips to the bathroom.' Beth replies smiling.