The Captain's Heart

twenty-five

15th February 2022 - twenty-three days old.

Tears stream down her cheeks as she sits curled up at one side of the sofa as Beth makes her way into the room carrying two mugs of hot chocolate. Placing the mugs down on the coffee table, Beth takes a seat next to the blonde who sighs and reaches up to wipe her cheeks.

'I'm sorry.' Leah mumbles causing Beth to shake her head.

'You've got absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Le... Tell me what's happened? Did you two argue?' Beth asks softly.

'No, we just- I told her how I felt, that I thought I might have feelings for her. I thought she'd feel the same way.' Leah replies.

'But she didn't? I was so sure she felt the same way, Le.' Beth says.

'She just said she had to leave. I don't even know where she's gone. I don't even know i I've been so stupid, Beth. I never should've told her. I never should've said anything because now I've lost her.' Leah cries causing Beth to immediately pull the blonde into her arms.

'Okay, firstly she's at Steph's so she's okay. Secondly, you're not stupid. It wasn't fair to have to keep your feelings to yourself. You should never have to hide your feelings from anyone. Maybe she's just a bit shocked, maybe she wasn't expecting it and just needs some time to process it.' Beth says causing Leah to sigh.

'I don't want to lose her as a friend.' Leah almost whispers and Beth nods her head.

'I'm sure she doesn't want that either.' Beth replies as the sound of Rory's whimpers begin to fill the room. Taking a deep breath, Leah pushes herself into a standing position and makes her way over to the moses basket.

'Hey, sweet girl. Mummy's right here.' Leah says softly as she lifts Rory into her arms.

****

'I fucked up.' Imogen mumbles, her hands covering her face as she sits opposite Steph who sighs.

'What's happened?' Steph asks.

'I've really fucked up this time, Steph. I don't know how to fix it.' Imogen replies, her eyes filled with tears as she shakes her head.

'Right talk me through what's happened and we'll work out how to fix it.' Steph says.

'Leah told me she thinks she has feelings for me.' Imogen almost whispers as she glances away from the Aussie in front of her.

'Okay... And you don't feel the same?' Steph asks causing the brunette to sigh and bite her bottom lip.

'I don't know. I just- I'm just scared.' Imogen admits as Steph reaches over to gently squeeze her hand.

'Of what? Being with Leah?' Steph asks.

'Of being with anyone, I think.' Imogen replies shaking her head.

'Have you not been in a relationship before, Imogen?' Steph asks softly and the brunette shakes her head.

'Not a proper one.' Imogen replies.

'I just- I struggle to let anyone get that close to me. I struggle to fully let anyone in and I hate it. I hate that I can't just function like a normal human but I'm scared.' Imogen admits.

'Scared of what? Being hurt?' Steph asks and Imogen shrugs her shoulders.

'I don't know. Some things happened growing up and I just- I hate that it all still affects me to this day.' Imogen replies.

'Okay... Obviously I don't know what happened, I don't know exactly how you're feeling but if you just speak to Leah, she'll understand. If you speak to her, she'll know where she stands, where you both stand and you guys can work on it.' Steph says.

'I don't know what to stay.' Imogen admits shaking her head.

****

'So, do you have feelings for Leah? Like could you see Leah being that person for you?' Steph asks softly.

'I don't know. I don't know what it's like when someone is that person.' Imogen admits shrugging her shoulders.

'Well with Dean, I know he's my person because he's the one I want to share all my news with good and bad. When I'm feeling shitty, he's the person I want to come home to. He makes me feel safe.' Steph says.

'Le makes me feel safe... Safer than I have done in years.' Imogen admits causing Steph to smile.

'Obviously when you got injured you phoned Le, who else did you phone?' Steph asks.

'No one. I just wanted to hear her voice. I just- I don't know. Le seems go make things feel less scary.' Imogen replies and Steph nods her head.

'Do you want my honest advice?' Steph asks and Imogen nods her head.

'I think you need to speak to Le. I can see that you've got some sort of feelings going on and I think you need to speak to her about this. I can see you're scared but I think you'll be really surprised if you just speak to Le. She'll understand and if you guys decide you want to give things a chance then you just take it slow.' Steph says causing the brunette to sigh.

'What if she doesn't? What if she thinks I'm stupid and damaged goods.' Imogen asks, tears filling her eyes.

'She won't. I've seen the way Le looks at you, Imogen. Le isn't judgemental and she's certainly not going to want to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.' Steph replies softly.

'I just left her on her own.' Imogen almost whispers and Steph shakes her head.

'Beth is with her. She's not on her own, I promise. Why don't you stay here tonight and then you can go talk to her tomorrow when you've both had some sleep.' Steph suggests.

'I start my physio tomorrow.' Imogen says.

'Okay, I can take you to your physio and then either bring you back here or take you to speak to Le.' Steph replies and Imogen nods her head.

'Okay...' Imogen says quietly.

'It'll be fine. We'll sort it out, Imogen.' Steph replies gently squeezing her hand.

****

'What are your plans for tomorrow? Why don't you come into training for a bit so you're not sitting on your own?' Beth suggests running her fingers through Leah's hair as the blonde's head rests on her lap.

'No, Ims starts her physio tomorrow. I don't really want to see her yet.' Leah admits.

'Please don't sit in the house on your own though. Is Alex free? Maybe meet up for lunch?' Beth asks and Leah shrugs her shoulders.

'Possibly.' Leah replies.

'It'll all work out exactly how it's supposed to, Le.' Beth says softly.