The Captain's Heart

forty-eight

25th August 2022 - six months and twenty-eight days old.

It's still pitch black outside when they woken by the sound of screams filled with absolute terror filling the house. Immediately both of them shoot up in bed and glance at each other as Steph rubs her eyes sleepily.

'I've got it.' Steph mumbles. She pushes the covers off her body and climbs out of bed before quickly making her way through to the spare bedroom where she finds Imogen sitting up in bed, tears streaming down her cheeks as she attempts to catch her breath. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Steph reaches for the brunette's hands only for her to flinch away.

'It's me, Imogen... It's just Steph.' Steph says softly and almost instantaneously Imogen reaches out for her hands.

'H-Help me...' Imogen cries and Steph nods her head.

'I will, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere... I think you're having a panic attack, Imogen.' Steph says softly giving the brunette's hands a squeeze.

'Can you take some slow, deep breaths for me? Hmm... Just like this.' Steph says taking the brunette's hand and placing it on her chest to allow the brunette to copy her breathing. It takes around ten minutes for the brunette's breathing to settle to a more regular pace.

'What do you need? What can I do to help you right now?' Steph asks softly.

'J-Just stay with me.' Imogen almost whispers and Steph nods her head. Sliding into bed beside the brunette, she drapes her arm around her shoulders and gently pulls her into her side.

'I've got you. I'm right here, not going anywhere.' Steph says softly.

'I'm sorry for waking you up.' Imogen says quietly and Steph shakes her head.

'Don't be silly. You've got nothing to apologise for.' Steph replies.

****

'What can I do for you, Steph?' Jonas asks as he sits opposite the Aussie who takes a deep breath.

'I know that this isn't usually the typical way that things are done and I know it's probably better for her to come to you herself but its about Imogen...' Steph says and Jonas nods his head signaling for her to continue.

'She's not in a good place, Jonas. She's temporarily moved in with me because we don't think it's a good idea for her to be on her own at this moment in time so I'm here to say she needs some time off... I'm not sure how long, I'm not sure when she'll be able to return but she needs time.' Steph explains and Jonas nods his head.

'Of course. She can have all the time she needs.' Jonas says and Steph sighs.

'Can I also have the next few days off? I'll keep training at home and stuff but I just- I'm really not comfortable leaving her on her own, Jonas.' Steph replies.

'Is it that bad?' Jonas asks and Steph nods her head.

'Mm-hmm... It's worse than you could even imagine.' Steph replies.

'Take as long as you both need. Just keep me updated, okay? Where is Imogen just now? Is someone with her?' Jonas asks.

'She's in the car... She was planning on speaking to you herself but she just- It's been a rough morning. We're going to the doctors this afternoon.' Steph replies.

'Okay, well keep me updated and let me know if we should arrange someone for her to talk to. I can get that all arranged whenever she's ready.' Jonas says reaching over to gently squeeze the Aussie's hand.

'Thank you, Jonas. I appreciate it.' Steph replies softly.

'Please let her know that there's no pressure on to return. Her health comes first and if for the time being she needs to communicate through you or through text, that is completely fine as well.' Jonas says.

****

'You okay?' Steph asks softly as Imogen climbs into the passenger seat, her cheeks tinted red as a result of the tears she's clearly shed while in her appointment.

'Mm... She um- She suggested antidepressants and therapy. She said the waiting list for therapy is so long though so that'll be a while.' Imogen replies.

'Jonas offered to arrange a therapist for you to talk to. He doesn't know details obviously but he knows you're struggling and he said it is something he could arrange through the club.' Steph says.

'I uh- I don't know. Doesn't that mean everyone would find out?' Imogen asks and Steph shakes her head.

'Not at all. The confidentiality still stands between you and a club therapist the same it would any other...' Steph replies.

'Maybe I'll see him next week.' Imogen almost whispers as she glances out the window as Steph begins to drive.

'So he also said that he doesn't want you to feel any pressure and if you want to communicate via me or text then that's okay...' Steph says reaching her hand over to gently squeeze the brunette's knee.

'Do you think you could ask him to arrange it then? I just- I don't want to.' Imogen admits and Steph nods her head.

'Of course I can. I meant it when I said that I'm here for whatever you need, okay? I'm right here. Always.' Steph says softly.

'Thanks, Steph... I'd really be lost without you.' Imogen mumbles.

'You don't have to thank me, Imogen. I just to see my happy, smiley one back.' Steph says.

****

'I've to take one at night because they help with the sleeping.' Imogen says as she stares down at the box in her hands.

'Okay. Do you want me to sleep in your room tonight? I can sleep on the floor if it makes you more comfortable? Just for if you wake up in a panic again.' Steph offers.

'Don't be silly... I'm already affecting your life enough, I'm not dragging you out of the bed you share with Dean.' Imogen says shaking her head.

'Right let's stop thinking that you're affecting my life in a negative way. I have hopefully got many years so sharing a bed with Dean. I'm sure we can manage a couple of nights apart.' Steph replies.

'You don't actually have to sleep on the floor...' Imogen says quietly and Steph nods her head.

'Sorted. Are you hungry? Dean is working late tonight so it's just the two of us?' Steph asks.

'I'm not hungry.' Imogen replies.

'I'm so proud of you, you know? Going to the doctors, asking for help is a huge thing and you should be so proud of yourself as well... Even telling me that you didn't think you should be on your own is huge.' Steph says softly.

'I've hit rock bottom before... I know how dark it can get and I don't want to end up back there.' Imogen admits.

'Well I'm here and we'll do our very best to make sure you don't make it back to that place, okay? I've got you.' Steph says wrapping her arm around the brunette's shoulders.

'What is Jonas going to tell the team?' Imogen asks and Steph shrugs her shoulders.

'He didn't say. He won't give any details though if you're worried about that, will probably just say you're taking time away.' Steph replies.

'Okay.' Imogen says quietly.