The Captain's Heart

forty-six

23rd August 2022 - six months and twenty-six days old.

'Listen to me, you are going to go in there with your head held high, okay? You have done nothing wrong, Le. You've reached out, you've messaged. Balls in her court now. You can't do anymore.' Lia says, her hand letting out to rest on the blonde's knee.

'I just don't want to see her.' Leah admits shaking her head.

'Stick with me. You'll be absolutely fine. I promise, we'll get you through the day and then you can get back to Rory.' Lia says as the blonde sighs.

'I just want to go home and curl up on the sofa with ice cream.' Leah mumbles.

'If you really don't feel up to it, I can take you back home? I'll tell Jonas you're not feeling well and need a day at home?' Lia suggests.

'No, it's fine. I need to suck it up and see her at some point I guess.' Leah says running her hands over her face.

'I've got you, Le. A few hours then you'll be back home to Rory.' Lia replies. They both get out the car, grabbing their bags from the back before beginning to make their way into the training centre.

'If you need me to hide you, I will. Just give me the nod, okay?' Lia says causing the blonde to laugh slightly as she links her arm through the Swiss-midfielder's.

'Thanks, Wally...' Leah replies smiling as she drops her head to rest on the other woman's shoulder.

'You've no need to thank me, that's what I'm here for.' Lia says softly. Together, they make their way into the training centre and through to the changing rooms, which are surprisingly empty.

'If you need to leave at any point, just let me know. We'll make it work.' Lia says and Leah nods her head.

****

'She's not here...' Steph says softly, her hand reaching out to rest on the blonde's arm as she watches her eyes dart around the pitch in an attempt to find the brunette.

'Where is she?' Leah asks quietly.

'At home. She said she wasn't feeling well so she wasn't coming in today...' Steph replies and Leah nods her head.

'Oh okay.' Leah says.

'Have you spoken to her? Since the other night?' Steph asks and the blonde sighs.

'I've tried. I tried phoning her and I've sent her a few messages... Is she okay? I just- I haven't heard back from her and I'm worried about her.' Leah admits.

'Honestly? I don't know. I don't know what's going on, she isn't speaking to me much but I can honestly say I've never seen her like this, Le. I- Well her reaction to what happened at team night was intense and over the top, I'm not sure what caused that but it's not usual Imogen.' Steph says.

'She's going through a lot.' Leah says and Steph nods her head.

'Oh I can see that.' Steph replies.

'I'll try phoning her again after training but I just- I don't think she'll answer me. Could you maybe go check on her tonight? Make sure she's relatively okay?' Leah asks and Steph nods her head.

'Of course I can.' Steph replies softly.

'Oi, stop winding up the Aussies... One of them has already called off because of you, we don't want to lose any more.' Katie shouts, a smile on her face as she attempts to wind up the blonde and ease the tension which is hanging over them all. Immediately Leah's face drops, tears filling the blonde's eyes as she bites her bottom lip.

'I-I uh-' She stutters quietly before shaking her head and turning to head back in the direction of the training pitches.

'Do you think you are being fucking helpful in this situation, Katie? Can't you see that she's already upset enough as it is? Can't you tell that clearly there is more going on with this situation that none of us are aware of?' Lia asks.

'I uh- I didn't mean to upset her. I was just joking, I didn't think she'd get upset.' Katie replies.

'That's the problem though, isn't it? You don't fucking think, everything is just a laugh to you, isn't it? How would you feel if it was you and Ruesha in this situation, ey?' Lia says causing Katie to hold her hands up in defence.

'I'm sorry.' Katie mumbles glancing around at the rest of the girls who are all looking on in pure shock at both the blonde's reaction and Lia's retaliation.

'Think before you speak in future.' Lia snaps before turning to follow the blonde.

****

'I think you should go home, Le... I know you said you weren't letting this affect your training but I don't think you're okay.' Lia says softly as she crouches in front of the blonde who has her knees pulled up to her chest as tears stream down her cheeks.

'I was fine until Katie. I just- They all think I've driven Imogen away, they all know it's my fault.' Leah replies shaking her head.

'Ignore Katie... None of us think you've driven Imogen away.' A voice says softly causing them both to glance up at the door where Jordan is standing holding a bottle of water and a dairy milk.

'But Katie-' Leah begins and Jordan shakes her head.

'Was being an idiot. She thought she was being funny when really she was just being tasteless.' Jordan says making her way over and handing the water and chocolate to the blonde who smiles slightly.

'Thank you.' Leah almost whispers.

'Listen, I know you, we all know you and we know you would never intentionally hurt anyone... Especially not someone you love. Whatever Imogen is going through, whatever has happened, she's just lashing out and they do say you always lash out at those closest to you. Go home, Leah. Have a nice shower or bath, snuggle your daughter and then go get your girl back.' Jordan says.

'I can't miss training.' Leah replies shaking her head.

'You need to go home and get your head straight. If you come on this pitch with your mind elsewhere, you increase the likelihood that you're going to pick up an injury, you know that just as much as I do.' Jordan says and Leah nods her head.

'I'll go home.' Leah replies quietly.

'I'll let Jonas know. Just gather up your things.' Lia says softly and the blonde nods her head.

'Phone me later and let me know you're okay, yeah?' Lia says and Leah smiles slightly.

'I will, thank you.' Leah replies quietly.

****

Lying in her bed, Rory fast asleep to her left and the empty tub of ice cream discarded on the bedside table to her right, Leah can't help but sigh as she reaches for her phone and glances down at the lockscreen; a picture of her, Imogen and Rory in Ibiza. Unlocking the phone, she takes a deep breath and immediately begins to compose a new text.

To Imogen:
I know you clearly don't want to speak to me but I just want you to know that I am sorry. I would never intentionally want to hurt you or cause you any pain. I was just stupid, I didn't think about what I was saying. I'm sorry. I love you, I'll always love you xx