A Neat Mess

10.Irreligious Corner

Sam gasped as she sprang forward in bed, grabbing her cheeks and jaw. Each panicked breath seemed to push the oxygen she needed further away. Her eyes bulged in terror, darting across the room, searching for Jess, the mirror, and the woman who had warned her. When her surroundings became familiar and she realised it had been just a nightmare, Sam regulated her breathing and calmed down. She looked beside her and saw Ben was still fast asleep. Exhaling deeply, she closed her eyes and lay back down. Moments later, she sat up slightly and looked at what her instinct told her was almost certainly there, and indeed, it was.

Atop a wooden cabinet was a medium-sized collection of statues and symbols from various religions and faiths. They were delicately arranged in a unique order, many of them handmade and unlikely to be found anywhere else in the world. This was how Sam intended it. Before the advent of online shopping, finding these items had not been easy, adding to their value for Sam.

One piece seemed to glow under the moonlight. Sam recognized it as a necklace attached to a nine-pointed star from the Baha'i faith. Inside the star were two smaller five-pointed stars, with mysterious characters in three horizontal lines, conjoined with a vertical line. The necklace had been gifted to her by an exceptionally kind woman of the same faith—a gesture Sam never forgot. The woman had told Sam that although the necklace was cryptic, it symbolized a very forgiving god.

That was enough for Sam to keep it around her neck. At the time, the only spiritual item she owned was her grandmother's golden cross, which she had kept close for a very long time. However, it eventually lost its spirituality for Sam, becoming more of a symbol of fear than protective power. She decided to resort to kinder, more forgiving gods and gave them a chance. Later, when she was told that "God doesn't like gays" and that women weren't allowed equal power to men in certain faiths, Sam decided that God was far from open-minded and accepting. So she stopped wearing the necklace.

Now that Sam's eyes had adjusted to the darkness, she could see clearly, and she was sure her imagination was not playing tricks on her. She got up and left the bed. Ben moved slightly but didn't wake up. Sam crossed the hall and peeked into Jenna's room. Her daughter lay peacefully on her side with her hands clasped together under her cheek. Sam left the doorway and walked downstairs to pour a glass of water. Afterwards, she sat in the lounge, looking out the window.

She reviewed what she had learned, not from recent research, but from trauma experienced long ago. She knew that abuse, brain damage, or faulty genetics could effectively rewire a child's mind. The most likely cause for Jenna, as far as Sam could see, was abuse. The other two were not exactly under her or Ben's control, but at least they could rule them out before digging deeper.