A Neat Mess

34.Crossroads of Conflict

The next day, Ben was supposed to pick up Jenna from school, but Sam, buried under a busy workday, received a text from Ben just half an hour before school let out: "Stuck at work, can't collect Jenna." Ben's attempt to shirk responsibilities only added to Sam's frustration. She quickly called Andrew, who never turned down a request for help. "No problem. My kids love Jenna's company," Andrew replied.

"Thank you so much, Andrew. I hope I can return the favour someday," Sam said gratefully. She left work as early as she could, though it was later than Ben's usual arrival time. When she got home, Ben still wasn't there. Sam first called his office receptionist, but since she only worked during regular business hours, there was no answer. Sam wondered if Ben might be with the receptionist or someone else.

Something felt off, especially after their recent fight. Ben must have been up to something. Unable to stay indoors, Sam stepped outside and looked around. Was it possible he was at the neighbour's house? She decided to sit and keep watch to see if he would leave. After a while, boredom set in. There was no movement, and she couldn't even tell if anyone was home. She checked her watch—she'd been waiting on the front steps for about seven minutes. Sam considered how pathetic it might look if Ben came home and found her waiting outside.

She checked her phone but found no new messages or calls. An idea struck her. Maybe her sensitivity to Jessica had made her more appealing to Ben. It was too late to be subtle now. Sam called Jessica directly. No answer. She called repeatedly with no luck. Determined, Sam put Jenna in the car and drove to Jessica's place. The lights were on.

"Stay here for a minute, okay?" Sam instructed Jenna, then walked to Jessica's front door. She knocked. No response. She knocked harder and pressed the doorbell continuously until she heard movement inside. Jessica opened the door hurriedly.

"SAM! What's wrong?" Jessica's gaze flicked to Sam's car parked outside. "Is Jenna okay?"

"Is Ben here?" Sam demanded.

"Ben who?" Jessica asked, closing the door behind her and stepping outside to whisper, "I have company. We were doing sunset meditation."

"Sunset meditation? Is that what you're calling it now? Is it even a real thing? All I want to know is if Ben is here!" Sam raised her voice.

"No, he's not. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go," Jessica said, trying to close the door. Sam pushed her way inside.

"What are you doing, Sam? Have you been drinking, with Jenna in the car?"

"I just need to see your sunset yoga," Sam said, stepping into the front yard. Jessica had a group of four people sitting on yoga mats, looking concerned and confused. Sam felt a rush of humiliation but remained focused.

Jessica quietly whispered, "Now you have to go."

Sam nodded and walked out, wondering if she had given Ben enough time to hide. She drove a few streets over, made a couple of turns, then returned to Jessica's street to wait. Jenna grew bored and irritable, but Sam ignored her. She waited until Jessica's guests left and Jessica walked out with them, glancing around and staring in the direction where Sam was parked.

Sam checked her phone again—still no sign of Ben. Frustrated and with Jenna's mood worsening, Sam decided to leave. She still planned her next move.

Despite the rough night, Sam made it to work on time the next day, though she was a mess. She could feel the judgment from others and noticed that conversations stopped when she entered the kitchen. She didn't care; she was too exhausted for makeup and preferred loose pants for comfort.

Sam was considering how she might track Ben's activities. His computer and phone were fingerprint-protected, making it impossible for her to snoop. She was also puzzled by Jessica's reaction. Why wasn't Jessica more surprised or annoyed?

Sam wondered if she could sneak into Jessica's house on Sunday when she was at the market. As far as Sam knew, Jessica didn't lock her door. She contemplated how crazy that idea was—breaking and entering if she got caught. Sam felt desperate, as Ben and Jessica had been deceitful, and neither had admitted it.

That week, Ben seemed more enthusiastic about their appointments, so Sam told him that the appointment had been cancelled.

"Sorry, I just zoned out for a second," Sam said, sipping her now-cold coffee. She had been staring out the misty window, then at Blake's face, trying to focus. She looked away and fixed her gaze on a few imaginary points around his desk, as if following the black dots that appear on bright surfaces.

"Can you repeat the question, please?" Sam asked again.

"I just asked if your husband has ever shown signs of anger, abuse, or edginess. Has he ever struggled with alcohol or drug abuse? Also, can you tell me why this question has put you in such deep thought?" Blake's inquiry was probing, and Sam knew the truth might not help her case.

Sam grimaced at her now-cold coffee. "Um," she cleared her throat, "to be honest, I usually get side-tracked easily, but with everything going on lately, it's worse. My thoughts are more scattered than ever. I mean, I've been trying to piece together a decade of life, and it just makes me angry. Ben does drink, and yes, his voice is sometimes the loudest in the house."

Her attention was drawn to a stain on the misty window—a deformed face, drawn from a three-quarter angle, with a disturbing smile.

Sam refocused. "He isn't a bad person, but pressure changes people. His rage isn't helping our treatment progress."

Blake nodded, jotting down notes. "That's correct. It's common for men to resort to compulsive habits like alcohol, drugs, gambling, or infidelity instead of seeking help. What was his reason for missing the appointments?"

"Well," Sam sighed, "he doesn't believe in the effectiveness of work in here. He blames Jenna's issues on me—says I'm trying to make her callous and spiteful like myself to compensate for the fact that we're not blood-related."

"He actually said that, in what context?" Blake asked.

"Yup, exact words. The context was that I am not so shattered by what happened to Lucille and the reason is I believe, it's the consequence of her actions."

"For Jenna's condition to improve," Blake said, "we need cooperation from both of you. Your efforts won't succeed if Ben keeps undermining what you've built. I can't help if he doesn't attend sessions and ask questions."

"What can we do about it?" Sam asked, frustration evident. "He turns every conversation into a fight. It's become impossible to talk to him?"

"If having conversation doesn't work then I recommend a time of each for a short while to see if it helps. Constant arguments are detrimental to Jenna's progress."

That was exactly what Sam wanted to hear. She planned to bring it up with Ben the next day.