IT WON'T STOP

19.

[ Amara's ]

She met my parents; we had a family dinner, and it was like that over and over again. Our relationship was going very well behind the cameras. We were hiding; I didn't want to reveal it publicly.

We couldn't avoid arguments, especially when it came to her selflessness. She was used to just keeping everything to herself. She wanted to prioritise my feelings more, but... What about her?

"Hi, baby, where are you?" Machiko spoke while we were on a call.

"I'm the condominium, getting ready to go for an endorsement. You ba?" I answered while putting some make-up on.

"Oh, I just finished a performance with JMC. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Oh, no! It's fine! Just go spend your time with your friends muna. I will just call Sadie, okay?"

"Okay," she sighed. "Take care. I love you."

"I love you, Machiko," I told her in a soft tone before ending the call.

While I was putting my make-up on, I was thinking about Machiko's thoughts. We knew that we were both not emotionally intelligent enough. When some things go wrong, it's like she would risk everything for me, and I never wanted that.

We don't have the same preferences when it comes to publicity and fixing our problems together.

We looked like we were in a healthy relationship, but it was so exhausting to maintain it that way.

The day passed, and I spent my time with Sadie, Skylar, and Galilea after my endorsement.

"Okay, ka lang?" Galilea looked worried.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Nag sisinungaling ka!" Skylar exclaimed.

"True, ano ba nangyari? Kanina ka pa kasi, parang ang lalim ng iniisip mo," Sadie said.

"It's normal to feel exhausted while being in a relationship, 'no?" I looked at them.

"Oo naman, hindi sa lahat ng bagay ay magiging masaya, Amara," Galilea seriously answered.

"I agree. Why ba? Pagod ka na?" Skylar asked me.

"It's just... draining. Machiko... I know Machiko is hiding something. It's like she's just scared to express her feelings from time-to-time." I sighed. "And it feels so bad; it's unfair. She has always been there for me whenever I'm in need emotionally, but I can't be there because she keeps hiding her own conflicts from me."

"Napag-usapan niyo na ba?" Sadie looked at me, worrying.

"We did, multiples na. But... It's just... It's always like that, at rumurupok lang din naman na parang wala lang."

"Naintindihan ko, normal talaga sa relationship ang mga ganiyang bagay, Amara. Siguro kailangan niyo talaga ng improvements," Galilea spoke.

"Hindi siguro, kailangan talaga. At tsaka, you guys just need to grow up together. Iyon ang point kapag nasa relasyon ka," Sadie advised.

"Machiko is very used to keeping things on her own, kaya mahirap sa'yo kasi expressive ka sa kaniya, Amara. Mag try lang ng try, okay? Huwag magpadala sa pagod." Skylar smiled. I nodded with all of their advice; somehow it helped me.

An hour passed, and Machiko picked me up. I noticed that her car looked new again.

"You bought a new one?" I smiled at her while we were holding each other's hands. She was driving with one hand.

"Yeah, kanina. I had to." She smiled a little, her eyes focused on the road.

I noticed that some features of her car were bulletproofed. It looked so heavy, thick, and strong.