Bring Me Back

Chapter 5

June 11th

You know how in movies the ending is the best part because the main character finally understands herself and all her mistakes and all her problems are magically gone? Well, let me tell you that it doesn't happen in real life. There are no slow, perfect moments, no soundtrack to your life and no happy pop song in the end. This is life and it sucks. Especially when you are a teenager.

At this point, I have no one. I feel alone and this is the moment when I need someone the most.

I'm telling you my story because I feel alone and you are probably the only one that listens to me... Welcome to my fucked up life.

***

It was nice being outside after such a long time spent in my room. I was feeling at ease. The summer breeze was playing with my hair locks that somehow managed to escape from my messy bun. Okay, that wasn't even messy bun anymore but a birds nest and I haven't washed my hair for weeks. So no wonder that my hair was trying to escape from its misery.

I was sitting still, breathing in and out. I could smell freshly cut grass and the pond water. Birds were singing and flying around. I could hear children laughing their dulcet laugh in the far end of the park. Families, mothers pushing their children on swing sets, boys driving around on bicycles and yelling at one and other. It was a typical Sunday afternoon. This place, at the far end of the park and well hidden by the trees, was my hiding spot, my safe place as I liked to call it.

Sitting on the red, cold metal bench and just observing everyone. It was somehow peaceful. I was sitting crossed legged on the seat, my journal in my lap. I managed to write something finally but it wasn't that good and it was a moment of weakness. I would never write something so personal in that thing for my therapist to read, but it made me feel better. After all, I could just rip the page out if I wanted to.

This place was good for escaping. It was like time didn't exist in this place. It was irrelevant as all the problems in the world. I could sit here forever and watch the ducks swim around like they didn't have any care in the world. Since I was little and we moved in with Frank, my stepdad, I was always running to this place when things got bad at home. I took a deep breath and I guess some pollen got in my nose and I sneezed.

"Bless you," someone said. I didn't recognize the voice, but it definitely belonged to a boy.

I was startled because usually no one came to this far end. I stopped focusing on the tree I was staring at and looked to my right. Indeed, there was a boy standing next to me. His eyes were wild and cheeks flushed bright red. It looked like he had just run a marathon. His coal black hair was so messy that you could think that he had never put a comb through them. He smiled and showed his perfect pearly white teeth. I guess he was cute, but I had no interest in talking to him or anyone for that matter. I just wanted to be left alone. The point of my hiding spot was that I would stay hidden from everyone and would not be bothered by some dumb boys. Ugh!

"Thanks," I said after a long pause. I was kind of hoping that he would have left by now, but I guess this wasn't my lucky day.

I looked back at the ducks swimming in the pond. The ducks swimmed closer to me in a hope I would feed them. Sorry guys, I have nothing for you. I smiled to myself. It was so easy to make animals happy. You just needed to feed them and they would be fine. I had totally forgotten about the boy's presence until he sat beside me and looked at me with his blue eyes. I couldn't really put my finger on what color were his eyes but if I had to guess I would say night sky blue. Such a pretty color. The sun was playing on his face and it made even harder for me to look away from him.