After Happily Ever After

Luz Noceda

The air is fairly cool now that i've left the hospital. It's not enough to calm my nerves but it's something. I head down a ally and past a group of men smoking weed. They attempt to cat call me but I completely ignore them, I'm not in the right headspace to argue with them. 

'Mija.' Mom said, a weak smile on her tired face. She looked exhausted in that hospital bed. 'Please don't be upset. I'm okay. Don't work yourself up over this.' 

I cross the road, hands in my pockets. I narrowly passed the people who gave me weird looks but I ignore them. I hate this town. I hate the people. I hate families. I hate the industry. I hate the cheap skate doctors who will suck every single dollar out of you, knowing full well families can't afford it but are willing to pay to save a loved one just for them to lose everything; the thousands of dollars and, most importantly, the person who made every cent worth it. It's an empty, hollow promise full of nothingness. An empty void of white lies which can only spread and development, just like cancer itself.

'How can I not be upset?' I replied huskily. 'Your in a hospital bed. You're over working yourself again!' 

I stand at the gates of Gravesfeild graveyard. A cemetery hidden away from the main town. I walk through the gates and down the path leading to my dads grave. I knew the pathway off by heart and even Amity had come with us for our ritual for the past four years. She said she didn't have to go if it made me uncomfortable but would go if I wanted her too. And honestly it made having the ritual a lot more manageable have her by my side and holding my hand the whole time.

'I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose.' Vee replied.

I stand in front of the grave. "Manual Alexander Noceda" is written on the tomb. I kneel down in front of it and touch the dead flower that was placed here about a year ago. 'Hi dad.' I murmur.

'I will be careful next time.' Mama promised. 'I'll take less shifts and rest more. Does that make you happy?'

'It's a start.' I replied. 'It makes me feel slightly better, I guess.'

'Good. Now give your mom a hug.' She opened her arms and we hugged her, feeling her kiss the top of our heads.

'Mom's in the hospital. The same one you were in.' I say. Obviously I get no response. 'We miss you. Mom misses you. I think that's why she's over working herself so much. She did it a lot when you first.......... left us alone. She used to work a lot in the first year or so. I understood, to an extent why she wasn't around for so long. She was really upset and she missed you. But I missed you too. I was just a kid. And you and mom were my only friends. None of the kids liked me. You were not just my dad but my best friend too. And that made losing you harder than it already was.' 

I shake my head sadly, trying to compose myself. 'But I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm legally an adult and I'm going to University. I understand now more than ever why mom was so closed off when you went. I still love the book you gave me. It was my coping mechanism. Fantasy. Cause in make believe no one can get really hurt. And The Boiling Isles proved me wrong about that. My friends and family come from a whole another world. A world just like the good Witch Azura world. I think you would have liked it. My friends would have loved you. Amity would have loved you.'

I feel tears sting at the back of my eyes. 'I think you would like her. Amity's great. We don't always see eye to eye but I love her. I love her so much. And I'm sure you would her too. Heck she could've been your daughter-in-law someday. Mom was very excepting of me being bi. I'm sure you would too. We're a family. At least we could've been a family.'

I look up to the sky and feel tears run down my cheeks on to the soil. 'I can't help but think that-that.... you're not around anymore. I have already reached some milestones in my life. You weren't here for my teenage years. And you'll never be here in the future. I can't help but think about when I get married o-or have kids. You won't be there for any of that.' I feel my cheeks burn with tears as a acid feeling rises in my throat. 

'Mom's in the hospital.' I say. 'She's in the same hospital that you died in. I think Amity could tell sorta tell that was why I was upset. Among other things. But yeah. I just really needed to get that off my chest. I know I don't visit often unless it's the anniversary but I thought I see you today because I needed someone to talk to. And I miss being able to come to you for things.'

I got up and turned to leave. 'Adiós papá.'