After Happily Ever After

Amity Blight

I have to say, I'm surprised. I didn't expect for things to go my way. I'm overjoyed by the thought of living with Luz in our own little dorm room. There's this little giddy feeling that I have just by thinking about waking up to Luz each day, of each week, of each month, of each year until she leaves university and we get our own apartment. I feel so much better now that I know I'm going to be around Luz a lot more. We'll spend so much more time together and I will be around to protect her. Now I don't have to worry about University harming her in some way. She will be safe now.

Luz, Ever the optimist, is currently hosting a part at the owl house. Well, I say Luz, it was actually Gus's doing, Luz just helped him. The party wasn't awfully big, just our friends and a few uni kids that Gus knew. Gus even introduced them to Luz, who was overjoyed to see them. Gus had three friends, a gothic witch who rarely talks, a small fur demon with a deep voice and a a three eyed witch with brown hair. They seem friendly enough and Luz is currently enjoying the conversation.

I'm on the other side of the room, watching her silently. A have a small cup of apple blood in my hand, my back leaning against the wall. I'm watching as they laugh at something Luz said. I don't know why I'm staring. I wish I could say that I'm entranced by my beautiful girlfriend, and while I am partly, it's more than that. I'm watching to make sure that she is alright. My guard is up and I can't shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen.

But there's no sign of anything wrong. There's no sigh of danger anywhere. It's a Saturday night and we're all partying. Luz is going to University in two days time. She's admitted she's nervous but she's also very excited. 

I'm incredibly proud of her. It feels like just yesterday that she was a gullible little human who I hated for such a stupid reason. Looking back at it now, my reasoning for hating her in the first place was small. It was my need to please Odaila and my perfectionism mindset that made me hate her. If I was really honest with myself then I knew deep down I was jealous of her. I envied her carefree attitude and her bubbly personality, but now I love her for it. Of course the old Luz was different to my Luz now. My Luz has a lot more trauma and suffers from depression, anxiety, people pleasing, lack of self worth and an unhealthy addiction to self sacrificing. But she's getting better. It's taking her years to recover to where she is now and while she still has a lot to heal from, I have faith in her.heh, I suppose me and Luz suffer in a lot more similar ways than we both realise. We both have anxiety- mine's at a much more serve rate than hers but we both still have it nonetheless- she hasn't been officially diagnosed with depression but she has shown many symptoms of it and we've even sat down and talked about what it's like for her.   

I take a sip out of my cup. My tongue is relished with the bitter sweet taste of Apple Blood as it swirls down my throat. I know I should find something to do instead of watching Luz talk to a bunch of college kids in the middle of the room, but there's not a lot I can do. Or, Well, there's not a lot I want to do. This party is loud and crowded, and everyone is  socialising But me.  Willow and Hunter are talking to  Skara and Viney about Grugby.  

'A snail for your thoughts?' A familiar voice came from behind me. I turn to see Lillie who is wearing a blue dress which complements her blue hair and green eyes. She wears a friendly smile on her face and greets me by putting a hand on my shoulder. 'Everything alright? You seem kinda depressed for someone who is at her girlfriend's party, with said girlfriend?'

'Yeah,' I smile. 'I'm not upset at all. I just want to admire my girlfriend from afar.' I say mockingly.

'I mean that wouldn't be out of character of you.' She shrugs.

'Oh shut up!' I snicker, hitting her arm playfully. 

'Okay! Okay! But seriously, go talk to her. She's right there.' She points out.