HAVING 13

14. Win you over

JOHNNY
January 29th 2005

This girl confused the fuck out of me.

One second, she treated me like I was ruining her life, and the next, she was telling me everything to soothe my worries.

She was special and weirdly familiar. It was like I'd known her longer than just two weeks.

I needed to keep her.

After I gave her a spin home, trying to ignore that it was the place she was most likely being hurt at, I drove to my own house.

My Mam and Da would be home Sunday night, only to go again in two days.

I walked through the door, limping as I shut it behind me.

I kicked off my shoes, tossed my keys on the countertop in the kitchen and grabbed myself some food.

I'd been trying to ignore the pain radiating from my upper thigh area, but it was almost impossible.

In October, I'd had a surgery because of a gotten-out-of-hand tear in my adductor.

Instead of waiting and letting it heal while being useless, I acted like I recovered way before I actually did.

Therefore, the surgery wound wasn't healing properly and it hurt like hell.

I couldn't fucking wank.

Even after finding a girl who made me feel all kinds of things.

Bella—the girl I'd slept with a few times with no strings attached—was far in my past now that I'd met Missy.

Missy with the perfect tits-

Shut up, Johnny, lad.

I could get my dick up, but as soon as I tried to finish, the pain was unbearable. Worse than when I just ran laps or played rugby.

Either way, I needed to keep it up. If I faltered, they'd inspect the surgery wound and realise that it didn't heal; they'd make me rest.

I couldn't rest. I needed to be the very best before Summer, because that period would be crucial to my future.

I could get selected to play. That's my dream.

I knew it would never heal if I didn't give it time to, but that was the thing. I didn't have time to spare. And I couldn't tell anyone either, because they'd only tell me to let it heal.

They wouldn't understand that I needed to endure this in order to make it.

It was the only way I had a chance.

•

JOHNNY
February 5th 2005

Every day, Missy and I sat next to each other in classes and talked or exchanged little notes. Every night, I went to Biddies and talked to Melissa during her shifts.

We didn't talk about ourselves, more about other people in our lives, and we also just people-watched. We made up stories about everyone sitting around and gave people nicknames.

I told her about Gibsie being my best mate, and she would tell me about how Shannon struggled finding friends.

She hugged me for the first time yesterday when I promised to look out for Shannon on any days Missy couldn't make it.

I still followed my Academy plan and my own training schedule, but I found that making time for someone you like a lot isn't that hard.

It was the next Saturday, February fifth, and I had a game for school.