A Pirate's Life For Me

Chapter 9 - I Didn't Mean

BAILEY

By Tuesday, I resembled a train wreck more than anything (or a shipwreck, if that's how you want to look at it). I couldn't seem to get a hold of anyone. Not Cory, not Lars, not even Olivia.

On Monday, with the boys off at school, I'd finally decided to do something rational: try to contact every hospital in the entire country of Cuba.

It turned out to be more difficult than I had expected. Not that I had anticipated that I would call one hospital and miraculously be reunited with my husband. I guess I just hadn't thought of the fact that some hospitals had no one on staff who spoke English.

Of course, many did. Hospital Hermanos Ameijeiras put me on with someone who spoke English the moment I opened my mouth. They, unfortunately, did not have a Cory Davis in their records. They gave me some recommendations of other hospitals to check with. Though all of the hospitals on their list had staff who spoke at least a bit of English, none of them had Cory.

On Tuesday after the boys came home from school, I gave up.

"Mommy?" Peter called from the living room. I was in the kitchen with my head in my arms, the phone on one side of me and my list of hospitals on the other. "MOMMY!" That was when I broke down.

"Shut UP Peter!" I screamed. "Would you STOP?! Why are you ALWAYS talking? Just SHUT UP for FIVE seconds, would you?! You ruined my life! I never wanted you anyway!" Then there was a long spell of silence.

I slapped my hand over my mouth, hardly believing the things that had just come out of it. Had I really just said all of that out loud? I knew I had when I saw Peter's face when he peeked around the door frame into the kitchen.

"Honey, I didn't mean--" But he ran away before I could finish.

X X X

I needed Olivia now more than ever. I wondered if she though I was mad at her -- maybe that was why she wouldn't answer my calls. 

Of course, there was her "us" comment over the phone the other day. It had rattled me more that it probably should have. That didn't mean anything. She probably just slipped up. Or so I kept telling myself.

Why, the skeptical side of my mind would always counter, did she hang up so hastily if she "just slipped up"?

I was just about to call her again when the phone rang. I snatched it up, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Liv?" I cried, trying not to break down sobbing before I knew whether or not I was speaking to my sister.

"Yeah--" The moment I heard her voice, I let go of my tears. I'm always hesitant to cry when I'm alone because I'm afraid I'll never stop if there's no one to hear it. "Bailey," She sighed over my sobs. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to be around for the next couple of weeks. We're going South." I could hardly answer through my tears.

"No -- Liv -- don't -- go--" My voice broke and I dissolved again. Whereas before I would have been embarrassed if Olivia saw me shed a single tear, I hardly cared at that point.

"Bailey. You can't just expect me to put my whole life on hold for you." That stung.

"B-but Liv," I stuttered, trying to swallow back my tears. I took a deep breath trying to calm the knotted mess in my stomach. "I'm not asking you to put your life on hold. I'm asking you to help me because I'm your sister," I managed to say. 

Olivia sighed again. "Sorry, I have to go. Maybe I'll call you later."

After she hung up, I sobbed uncontrollably, trying to wash away the stains of my loneliness, my fears, my sorrow.

And with no one to hear me, I was afraid I'd never stop.

X X X

Thanks so much to ih9344 for drawing Peter! it's adorable <3