Luceo Non Uro || Outlander

Chapter 25

Marsali

When Fergus came to bed, he curled his body around mine, circling his arms tight across my chest. His breath smelled of whiskey.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he murmured.

"Yer a terrible liar."

"Runs in the family." I turned towards him and tried to make out the lines of his face in the dark. He turned as well, hiding his face from me. Stubborn. I placed a hand over his hip, urging him to return to me, but he would not budge. I changed tactics.

"What do ye say we take the children to gather mushrooms tomorrow?"

"Aye, I would like that."

"I can cook them with some of the buffalo meat, and we can share it with Mother Claire and Daddy." I felt his head nod in agreement, his hair rustling against the pillow. The silence conveyed what he truly thought. I held him until he began to snore softly, but there would be no sleep for me tonight.

~~~ 

The next morning belied the dramatic events of the night before. The autumn sun shone brilliantly, casting an unseasonable warmth through the Ridge, and making it easy to put our worries for Daddy to the back of our minds. Word had not come in the night that anything had changed, and so we could only continue on with our day. Besides, this could be our last opportunity to harvest mushrooms before the first frost came, I thought stubbornly.

Fergus had asked me if it was wise for me to travel so far from home in my condition. Lord, I wished I had listened to him.

My basket was empty when the first pains began. I should have said something. After the first handful of morels were added, the pains began again. They were separated by only a few minutes.

"This one, pick it up. Smell it," Fergus said to the two children in his arms. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I breathed through another contraction. In that moment I recalled Claire's explanation of what was occurring during labor pains, and the terrible drawings she had made to teach both Fergus and I about a woman's inner workings. 

Fergus. "Fergus!"

"What is it?" he said with an aloof smile that quickly faded as I began to groan through the pain I was experiencing, like a knife to my back.

"Uh... I'll go fetch Milady, alright?"

"There's no time! This one's not waiting. Ahhh you're not going anywhere!"

"I'm here." I gripped his free arm. His knees buckled under the force.

"Put Joanie down, for Heaven's sake."

"Yes, I am here," he repeated, handing Joanie off to her brother, who was scarcely bigger than her. "Go play. No, don't play. Go sit down. Over there! Far away, but where I can see you," Fergus stammered.

"Fergus!"

"What?"

"Help me!"

"Tell me what to do," he exchanged the arm I was holding for his wooden hand. I shot him an incredulous look, but he only shrugged. "It will hurt less this way."

"I want you, you daft fool!"

"My mistake, here you are," he said, exchanging his wooden hand for his true hand. He guided me to the forest floor, propping me against a tree.

"You need to look."

"Look where?" I swear to God I could kill him. "Oh, right."

"Is my cervix dilated, husband," I said through gritted teeth, emphasizing the medical terminology Claire had taught us.