Unexpected Love

chapter 15: mental disorders?

Loren

Stepping into that classroom made me feel chills around my body. Sierra found out what happened. I don't know who told her cuz I don't know anyone that saw us when I had my breakdown in that alley.

I kinda expected that this would happen. It reminds me of the time the same thing happened with me in highschool. Boys and their commitment issues. And the fact that none of them gave a actual reason for it. I tried to suppress my attraction towards him from the starting but it's really hard when he's childhood friends with my bestfriend and the teacher assigns us as partners. Partners. shit. Don't tell me i still have to work with him. I am literally gonna kms. Made a mental note to talk to my professor about it.

I'm doing a little better than yesterday cuz I'm pretty sure I cried everything out. I placed a freezed spoon under my eyes to hide the puffiness it didn't help much cuz everyone was staring at me when I entered.
I knew in my brain that Ryder was always a bad idea I knew that from the moment I entered my first class but the way he broke my mask in front of him so easily with his mocking with me reading smut. Him protecting me in front of Ryle. Leaning his shoulders on me while helping me in my assignment. The way we danced yesterday before everything came crashing down and I had to face reality.

Sierra soon entered after me and i gave her a tired smile but she went straight to where Ryder was sitting and said something to him.
She told me before i asked her when she gave me a hug and sat down "i can't believe him. You know when I saw him with you i could see in his eyes when he looked at you. And i know he's not that person but he looked like he was in love." My heartbeat fastened when I heard that last word leave her mouth. "He looked serious. Serious about you and not someone who would do bullshit like this. Guess I was wrong."

I didn't say anything instead I just faced forward and exhaled the breath I was holding that i didn't even realise. I think I zoned out a bit cuz I didn't realise when Darren came and sat beside me. He smiled at me and sat down "are you doing better today?"
His concern for me made me smile and i said "I'm a lot better." I hesitated a bit I'm not sure if he thinks we should be friends considering he confessed to me last night. God what a day was yesterday.
As if he read my mind he said "and we're cool before you ask."
I gave his hand a little squeeze as a gesture of him being so nice.
My professor entered and i dwelled in the knowledge of my favourite topic of psychology. Mental disorders.

                                🎀

After the class cleared out I made my way to Dr Logan and I said "hi. I need to talk to you about something."
"Okay. What is it Loren?"
"I'm gonna need a new partner for the project."
His brows came together when he heard that "and why is that?"
"Its due to some personal reasons." I said trying not to make it suspicious but I think it was pretty obvious.
"I'm sorry Loren but I can't do that. That would be unfair to the rest of the students. And the whole point of this project is to see whether you're compatible with any person even u hate them with the bottom of your heart."
Now my brows furrowed together cuz that was odly specific.

Suddenly I heard the sound of a loud bang and we both turned around to see Ryder tripping down the stairs while coming down through the seats at the top. Our eyes met and he looked like he saw a ghost. I saw tension between his forehead and his jaw clench.

Neither of us smiled or said anything and we just stared into each other before my vision started to blur and i quickly looked back at my professor. Fucking tears. I looked up to let the water in my eyes disappear but it did not help and I had to use my hands. Great now I was crying in front of my professor. Thankfully he was still looking at Ryder like he was about to say something but he didn't.

I cleared my throat and said "okay." Because he could not help me and i leaved the auditorium. When I got out of sight of Dr Logan and Ryder. I fastened my steps and went to the parking lot to my car.
I exhaled again. And drank water. Can't believe i would still have to see him in class after everything.

I quickly got out of the parking lot and went home to clear my mind. Today Sierra and i had a movie night and i couldn't wait. I needed the comfort of my friends at this moment. And she was the best person i could ask for.