𝑗𝑢𝑑𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑎𝑚💌 𝑖𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠

late night talks 🌌

TW depression and suicidal thoughts ‼️

There I was, in the backyard, lost in my thoughts. I've been sitting here for hours, trying to organize my thoughts, but it just isn't working.

I sat on the old wooden bench, knees pulled to my chest, and I just stared at the moon, my thoughts swirling in a chaotic dance.

It was one of those nights where the weight of my emotions felt almost unbearable, pressing down on me with an intensity that was hard to shake. The familiar shadow of my depression loomed large, casting a pall over my heart.

I heard the faint creak of the garden gate, and moments later, Jude's familiar figure emerged from the darkness. He walked over to me, his presence a comforting balm to my frayed nerves.

Without a word, he sat beside me, his shoulder brushing against mine. I noticed that he was looking at me but I didn't dare look him in the eyes.

"Couldn't sleep?"

He asked softly, his voice filled with understanding. Jude has been very worried about me lately. He always comes and checks up on me. And the last few days he asks me all the time if I'm okay.

"No, I couldn't. My mind won't stop racing."

"What are you thinking about, Baby?"

"Honestly, everything and nothing. It's one of those nights where my mind won't settle on just one thing."

"Tell me. I want to hear everything that's on your mind."

I took a deep breath, feeling the warmth of his presence wash over me.

"I've been thinking about us. About how lucky I feel to have you in my life. Sometimes it scares me how much I love you, how much I need you."

Jude's eyes softened, and he pulled me closer, his fingers entwining with mine.

"I feel the same way, Baby. It's like you complete a part of me I didn't even know was missing."

His words wrapped around my heart, squeezing it gently. He's the cutest person ever.

"Do you ever worry about the future? About where we'll be, what we'll be doing?"

He nodded, his gaze never leaving mine.

"Of course, I do. But I also know that whatever happens, as long as we're together, we'll be okay. We'll figure it out, like we always do."

I sighed, feeling a wave of relief wash over me.

"You're right. It's just... sometimes the uncertainty can be overwhelming."

Jude cupped my face in his hands, his touch reassuring.

"I know it can be, but we have each other. And that means we can face anything that comes our way."

We fell into a comfortable silence, the weight of our conversation settling around us like a warm blanket.

After a few moments, Jude spoke again, his voice filled with curiosity.

"What else is on your mind?"

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear his question

He reached out and took my hand, his touch grounding me.

"Baby?"

"I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He asked, his eyes searching mine with concern.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Y/n, I know that you're struggling lately. I've noticed recently that you are always lost in your thoughts. It looks like you are fighting against it. You can talk to me, you know right?"

I took a deep breath, feeling a lump form in my throat.

"I've been struggling, Jude. My depression...it's been really bad lately. Some days it feels like I'm drowning, and I can't seem to find my way to the surface."

His grip on my hand tightened, and he turned to face me, his expression filled with empathy.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I had no idea it was this bad. I wish I could take your pain away. You are a great person and you don't deserve it to go through that. I'm so sorry, Baby."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I blinked them away quickly.

"It's not your fault. It's just... sometimes it feels like I'm fighting a losing battle. I try to stay positive, to focus on the good things, but it's hard when everything feels so overwhelming. I feel like that the happiness in me is leaving me and I can't do anything to stop it."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. I know that he's sensitive to the fact that I'm struggling with depression.

"You don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you, always. Whatever you need, whenever you need it. I love you so much that it hurts me to see you in pain. Maybe not physically but I know that you're in pain mentally."

I leaned into his embrace, feeling the warmth of his body.

"I don't want to be a burden. I don't want my struggles to drag you down with me."

Jude's eyes filled with a fierce determination.

"You could never be a burden, Darling. Loving you means being there for you through everything, the good and the bad. I want to help you carry this weight."

His words broke through the barriers I'd built around my heart, and the tears I had been holding back finally spilled over.

"I'm scared, Jude. I'm scared that I'll never be able to escape this darkness."

"I know it's scary, but you are so much stronger than you realize. And you don't have to face this alone. We can get through this together."

"It's just so hard sometimes. I feel so lost and helpless."

Jude cupped my face in his hands, his gaze steady and unwavering.

"You are not helpless, Baby. You are one of the strongest people I know. And even in your darkest moments, you are never alone. I am right here, and I will always be here, no matter what."

"Thank you for being there for me. You have no idea how much you mean to me."

He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead.

"We'll get through this, I promise. One step at a time, together."

We continued to talk late into the night, sharing our hopes, fears, and everything in between. It was a conversation filled with honesty and love, deepening our connection in ways I hadn't thought possible.

i love you