Anger hurt and guilt are emotions that rotate in my heart and mind consistently. I would love to be free of these feelings, but the more I involve others in my life they return. Safe in my own space. Safe in my own cocoon, separated from everyone else. Because alone, nothing can hurt me. But in reality, I do these things to myself. Making unsure decisions and recanting statements. Backtracking and going against my own morals. I simply want peace. I simply want happiness. But I keep doing everything that doesn't attribute to either of those things.
It's easier I've found to just say what you mean, mean what you say, and be truthful. No matter how much it may hurt others, it is my truth. We all return to dust in the end. Being unapologetically you is the only way to live a happy life. Without fear of judgment from others, because everyday, everyone, everyone dislikes something and that's okay.
Yet and still, though. I wanna rip these feelings out of my body and be through with them. I noticed every little minor detail good or bad and each sticks and stabs me deeply. One of my least favorite and most occurring realization is how I'm treated by people compared to everyone else in their lives. I'm the expendable one. The laughing stock. The one you can use, abuse, and take advantage of without feeling any remorse. I'm tired and drained. There is nothing left to take, yet I still feel so deeply. I am tired.
YOU ARE READING
Spilled Milk
PoetryA collection of poems and diary entries from a brilliant yet troubled mind and a passionately pumping & bleeding, hurting & healing heart.
