After our courthouse nuptials I feared what we would have to do when we got home. And Aaron having a bag ready and packed for the baby in the car confirmed my fears. He dropped Jabari off at his mother's house on our way home. I was going to break out into a sweat until I saw that we made a right turn instead of a left to get home. Then I almost broke out into tears.
"Where are we going?" I asked him, trying my best to keep my cool.
He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb before bringing it to his mouth and kissing it softly. "We can't go on a proper honeymoon right now because it's the middle of the season but we're gonna go on a little staycation until my next game." He kept his eyes on the road but I could hear the seduction making its way into his voice.
"I don't have anything packed, we should stop by the house." I tried any excuse I could think of.
If I could get back to the house, then I could say that I was tired, or didn't feel well, or... Anything. I needed to quietly heal with the knowledge and the decision I made alone today.
"Just like I got a bag ready for the baby I got one ready for you too." He smiled lightly "There's a little something I wanna see you in when we get to the hotel." He said in that seductive tone again and caressed my thigh while he was still driving.
I nodded my head and tried to look interested. I hope I was doing a good job because even though we just tied the knot, I was dreading making our marriage official.
"I thought you had practice tomorrow?" I questioned, still possibly finding a way out of this surprise staycation.
"I did, but I asked if I could miss out on one since the game we have isn't until next week." He looked at me a little worried. Was he thinking that I didn't want to do our makeshift honeymoon after our makeshift marriage?
I didn't really want to go on this staycation honeymoon. I was in the middle of forgiving what I saw and thinking about him with her. I was planning on staying home and keeping to myself for a week. Going back to the bookstore and being more present. Finding myself again. But this, these plans Aaron had, threw a wrench in everything I wanted to do.
The drive was a little quiet after he answered my question about practice. I decided to be a classic wife and start nagging and complaining a bit, give him a show so he doesn't see my true feelings.
"It's such a shame I'll have to send out cancellations for our winter wedding." I said in a deep sigh as I looked out the window with a fake disappointed frown.
To be honest I'm glad we had a courthouse wedding. The other wedding was for my parents really and now that I'm out of their grasp I want to pay my debt and cut them out completely. This new title I have is making me feel like a brand new woman.
But was it the title or was it my discovery?
I shook her from my head once again. I need to break this habit of obsessing over it since I decided to forgive him. I wanted to tell him what I saw, and I wanted to talk it out, have him promise that he'll never do that again, then ask him if she was the reason he rushed into us getting married.
But I didn't, I looked to him for his response.
Aaron furrowed his eyebrows. "I mean, we can still go through with the big winter wedding I know how much that meant to you, planning for it." He said gently as he parked the Rolls Royce in front of the valet booth.
"No, it's ok that all my planning and stress was wasted" I said curtly as I got out of the car and walked inside of the fancy hotel.
As I walked I felt his eyes on me, so I looked over my shoulder as I smoothed my white dress out. He was staring at me, not knowing where he went wrong and what he said that was the reason he got the short response he did.
