stigma (n.) // Hyunlix

Six

F E L I X

Felix brushes against Hyunjin by accident the next morning. In the van on their way to the location, just shoulder against shoulder, a touch so insignificant he usually wouldn't even notice, but it makes the memories flood back in, images from the previous night. Felix blushes crimson right then and there, surrounded by half the members and two managers, and he entertains the idea of pulling his hoodie over his face for the remainder of the ride if it wouldn't have the opposite effect and have everyone stare at him more.

Hyunjin sits next to him, not fully awake with his eyes half closed and his hair in disarray and Felix remembers it now, where he didn't before. How the strands of that hair had tickled the back of his neck. The way Hyunjin's breath had hit his skin.

That memory stays with him all day, growing and twisting, he's sure, into something that didn't fully happen, mixing memory and dream, or fantasy, if Felix is honest. He's gotten so good about that part. But every now and then his thoughts still slip away from him, running off into a world where Hyunjin and he are... But he's gotten better at it, and it just needs a little more discipline to stop it fully.

It's a slow start to the day, but once they reach the location, everyone falls into the routine of these things, a well-oiled machine they've perfected over the last years. They get the shoot done quickly and without any hiccups, except once Hyunjin goes into a coughing fit and Minho leads him away and makes him drink some water with Chan's hawkeyes following them and ten minutes later everything is well again.

Felix stares over to them without realizing that he does and wonders how much of what he remembers from the night before actually happened.

~ o ~

"Can we go down to the beach?" Jisung asks when they're back in the hotel after an early dinner, and several heads whip around to him.

"Are you okay?" Seungmin laughs after a pause.

Jisung looks offended. "What?"

"You never want to go outside unless I drag you," Minho says, and he's not being mean about it but Jisung seems put off regardless.

"I can go with you," Felix offers when no one takes Jisung's question seriously enough, because there's something in the way he looks over to Minho when Minho is not looking and Felix suspects that this has to do with his sudden urge to get some fresh air.

~ o ~

In the end, it's four of them going. It takes a bit of convincing because neither of the staff is really up for it and they always feel bad for making them come along to things that they don't want to do, but it's the combination of both Felix's and Jisung's pleading eyes that gets the job done. Minho trudges along to be the designated hyung and no one is really surprised by it, and the fourth is Hyunjin, his camera around his neck and eyes bright with anticipation. The sunset promises to be spectacular, with the clear sky all day and the first notion of warm golden light just coming through the hotel windows.

"Hyung slept in Hyunjinnie's room last night," Jisung says once they're outside, walking in pairs down the boardwalk. He frowns next to Felix, and the words come out entirely too soft to be a throwaway comment that doesn't mean anything.

"Oh." Felix is not sure what to answer, fighting against the twist inside his chest. He doesn't know how to respond to that, how to comfort Jisung when Jisung never puts into words what he really feels. It's the songs he writes one has to look at to understand Han Jisung. There's shame crawling up Felix's neck as he realizes he hasn't done that in a while.

Hyunjin and Minho are walking a few steps in front of them, Hyunjin bouncing like he still has too much adrenaline to get rid of, stopping every now and then to take photos. The sun is already touching the horizon and the last bit of light looks to Felix like stage light, pointing at the two men before them.