stigma (n.) // Hyunlix

Interlude #3

2020 - H Y U N J I N

They both hesitate when they see the crowd gathering for the elevator. Felix looks over with a raised eyebrow and an uncertain look on his face, but the two staff members with them push forward as soon as the doors open, and they're getting swept up in the crowd until Felix ends up with his back to the wall and Hyunjin in front of him.

He's pretty sure Chan and Changbin are somewhere around them, and that Minho made Jisung and Jeongin take the stairs. He has no idea when he saw Seungmin last, but he's usually the first to go missing at a party like this, only to reappear hours later, happily drunk and munching on food that did definitely not originate at said party.

Hyunjin tries to turn his head to find where the others are, but it's impossible, and he barely avoids getting hit in the face by someone's elbow, and only because Felix somehow manages to pull one arm up and tilt Hyunjin's face with a hand on his cheek.

They're pressed so close together that Hyunjin thinks he can feel Felix's heartbeat too, like an echo of his own, not in synch, but ricocheting off each other. It's exhilarating almost the same way standing on stage is, and Hyunjin marvels at the discovery.

"Sorry," he whispers, chuckling when someone behind him pushes more. He's pleasantly drunk enough that it doesn't bother him too much, the crowd and the noise, and Felix before him looks small, like someone that needs to be shielded, so that's where his focus is. Felix always has that effect on him.

"Are you okay?" Hyunjin tries in stumbling English when he notices that Felix has his eyes closed, and his ears are pink.

Felix only nods.

There's another push and it brings Hyunjin even closer. In an effort not to squish Felix too much, Hyunjin puts a hand out next to Felix's face, steadying himself against the elevator wall.

He manages to pull his other arm up too, pinching Felix's cheek. "Yongbokkah," he sings, laughing, just to get a reaction out of him. "Yongbokkahhh," he does again, pinching his cheek more, because Felix keeps his eyes closed, and that only spurs Hyunjin on.

He leans into him until his nose touches Felix's cheek. Giggling, he pulls back.

Felix's eyes fly open and his face does something complicated, too many emotions for Hyunjin to pick out a single one, and his lips fall open. "Fuck," he breathes, and the word travels through every nerve ending in Hyunjin's body.

"What is it?" Hyunjin whispers, but his skin prickles at the way Felix looks at him.

Felix shakes his head, pressing his lips back together. His eyes look feverish, his gaze jumping over Hyunjin's face and Hyunjin can't tell what's going on just yet.

Later, he'll know that he made it worse, but he's worried now about Felix, so Hyunjin leans closer, so used to shield each other from the eyes of strangers. "What's wrong, Yongbokkie?" he asks into the too-small space between them, holding his hand up like a makeshift wall between them and the others.

He can hear the whimper Felix makes.

"I want you," Felix breathes, and it's only that, just a breath. "To be... closer."

The words don't make sense. Hyunjin frowns, wants to ask again what Felix means with that, but just as he's about to, it clicks. A subtle nick against his neck at first, before the realization rushes through his whole body.

"Oh."

He's not sure why, but Hyunjin's instinct is not to pull back. He's not thinking anything at all, just staring at Felix, whose flushed face makes sense now.

"I'm sorry," Felix mumbles eventually. Blinking several times, he takes a deep breath and then refuses to look back up at where Hyunjin is still staring.