So Now You Want Me?

Chapter 12

Ever since I got pregnant I would eat a lot more. It wasn't normal. I would eat as a pig. I was getting bigger each day but I knew it wasn't just the pregnancy. Every time I ate no matter what I ate I would feel half full. I never felt full. My aunt would tell me that my overeating wasn't normal. I didn't care. I would just ignore her when it came to my food. I would even sneak food and eat it at night. I was starting to feel ashamed of myself. I felt as if I was pushing my loved ones away even Tim. Tim said he liked me for me not for my body. My own doctor told me to stop because it could bring complications to my pregnancy . It's like no one understands.

So far I've been controlling my food and it's been two weeks where I haven't been eating as a hog. I was trying my best for my baby boy. Today is the day where Tim is going to meet my best friend Sandra. I'm really excited because I haven't seen her for months. After I finished getting ready I headed outside and found Tim already waiting for me. He smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Hey, how are you feeling? You look beautiful"

"Thank you and I feel great. I'm just ready to see Sandra again!"

"I told her to meet us at the restaurant that is near the woods."

Tim and I drove long hours to the place we had agreed to meet at with Sandra. We decided we would met half way. When we got there I looked around. This place was so beautiful. Nature is so beautiful to me. I heard a car pull up and I quickly turned around that I felt pain. I think Tim noticed because he immediately went to my side.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine" I gave him a small smile to assure him that I was fine. He just kissed my forehead.

When Sandra came out of her car she went running into my arms. I noticed that I missed her so much more than I thought. When we pulled apart and looked at each others in the eyes we started crying. It felt so good to see her again.

"Sandra this is-"

In that moment I noticed she wasn't paying attention to me. Instead she kept looking at Tim and Tim kept staring into her eyes.

Oh no, Tim was my best friend's MATE! Tim has been my support and strength. I knew deep down that I didn't love him and that he deserved to be happy with my bestfriend. I understand her better. I had never understood why she never felt intimidated by Jake. She wasn't afraid to tell him off and now it makes sense! She was born to be a Luna.

I decided that I would give them some time and when I walked off they didn't even seem to notice. I was so hungry that I used my smell to help me track a nearby fast food that was near the woods. After I got my food I headed behind this huge tree and ate as a hog. All that effort I did in two weeks gone in a matter of minutes. When I finished devouring my food I decided to head back. I started walking in the direction I thought was right. After 30 minutes I knew I was lost.

I suddenly felt pain in stomach. I screamed to the top of my lungs. I decided to keep walking but I then I got dizzy. When I looked down I saw blood. I tried looking around my surroundings but I was losing conscious.

Then I saw black.

----

I opened my eyes and looked around. This place seemed unfamiliar. I tried to sit up but I felt pain in my abdomen. It was unbearable that I just winced. In seconds Sandra was by my side.

"Vanessa honey are you ok?"

"I'm fine where is my baby? His he ok?"

Tim then came into view. His face expression looked sad and sorry.

"Vanessa just Try to get some sleep and rest."

"NO! Why do you have that look on your face? Where is my baby?"

Sandra grabbed my hands and looked me in the eyes.

"Vanessa you have to be strong!"

My eyes were starting to get watery. It couldn't be.

"Vanessa, your baby is very sick and delicate. He was born to early. Please stay strong."

I started screaming and kicking. I didn't care about the pain I was causing myself I needed to hold my baby. Then I heard Tim call for someone. Then a woman in a white coat injected me with something and soon everything went black again.

THE NEXT DAY

I opened my eyes. I didn't feel any pain and I looked around. I was hooked up to all these machines. I quickly unhooked myself and went to the door. I then put my ear to the door.

"She probably feels as if it was her fault even if it wasn't."

After the people behind the door left, I quickly ran out of that room. I went in search for my baby. I was starting to get a major headache but I didn't care I needed to find my baby.

When I turned the corner I bumped into someone. I didn't even look up and kept walking.

Then I felt someone pull me back. They had both their hands on the side of my head and kissed my forehead. When I opened my eyes it was Tim.

"Vanessa I was looking for you like crazy. Where are you going?"

"Since my baby wasn't in my room I came to look for him."

I looked at his eyes. It looked as if he had no sleep and he looked really sorry.

"Vanessa your baby is being treated. Please go back to your room and get some rest."

I started to shake my head like crazy.

"NO! How can you even think I can just lay in that bed and wait! I have to see my child!!"

"Ok." Tim let out a sigh

I need to see my child. He hugged me hard and I hugged him back. Tim then showed me the way to where my child was.

____

There he was. He looked so fragile that if anyone touched him he would probably fall apart. It pained me to see my baby that way. It was my fault he was like this. I was the one that put him in that situation.

After a few minutes Tim took me to my hospital room. Sandra and a lady who seemed to be the doctor looked at me.

"Why?" I said

Sandra and Tim had a pained face expression.

"Vanessa, your body just pushed the baby I am still trying to figure the cause. It rarely happens to Lunas."

Sandra then got up and helped me lay down on the bed.

__

I was starting to fall asleep when a nurse came and whispered something in the Doctor's ear. The doctor looked shocked and ran out the room. I started to have a bad feeling.

"My baby!!" I yelled.

"Please Vanessa, please lay down. Your baby will be fine" Tim said.

Yeah he was probably right. I needed to keep a positive mind.

Then there was a knock at my door. The doctor came in.

"Vanessa I'm sorry your baby will not make it. We have tried everything. He only has a few mintues left. Then they brought my baby towards me.

"We will give you some time alone with your baby."

I held my baby in my arms and looked at him. I caressed his cheek. How could I love someone so fast. I kept admiring my little boy.

"Hey baby. You have to be strong ok. Momma loves you."

In that moment I heard my baby give his last breath.

I started sobbing uncontrollably.

It was my fault. Everything was my fault.

Hey Dear Readers,

I am so sorry for the long wait. I have been super loaded with school work. I love you guys so much. You all inspire me and encourage me to keep writing. Thanks for everything.

-Ruby