The Art of Love

Chapter 3: Anew

Summer Walker's 'Over It' album was playing lowly on the tv as Rayne laid in her bed. She kept playing the conversation she had with Zahir over and over in her head.

She couldn't understand why he couldn't tell her about their history. Why couldn't she remember anything about him besides being comfortable? What was with that?

She remembered everything about her family. She remembered things that went on in her life 10 years ago but when it came to him it was nothing.

That didn't make sense to her and she was starting to feel like she was spending too much time dwelling on the fact. He didn't wanna elaborate so why should she care?

Katora walked in her room with a blunt in her mouth.

"You wanna smoke your feelings away boo?" She asked.

Laughing at her, all she could do was shake her head.

"I haven't smoked in years."

"Well, a good time to start and plus I could tell you all about you and Zahir."

"What about us? There was an us?" Rayne asked, now sitting up.

Her cousin definitely had her attention now. She was curious. Fuck not dwelling on it.

"Yeah spark that." She said while handing her the blunt.

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Rayne was now sitting in a chair by her window. They were three blunts in and she was feeling very relaxed. Eyes low with a stupid smile on her face.

"What the hell you smiling at?" Katora asked her.

"Girl, I went to that man's house last week. Asked him what our history was and he basically told me he didn't want to bring up anything from his past. I could've saved myself that trip and asked you instead."

She squinted her eyes. "He said what?"

She just nodded her head and looked out the window.

"I don't even think it matters that he was in the streets because I can't remember that. Unless he hid that part of his life from me. But we were inseparable? Crazy."

"You had every bitch in school mad 'cause they couldn't get next to him. You had his heart I feel."

"Damn we can't even be friends." Rayne said before laughing.

The face Katora made , made her laugh even harder.

"That laugh! Are you back? Like the old you officially? I love you cousin but I love the loud you. The outgoing you. The tell it like it is don't give a fuck who feelings get hurt you."

Rayne shrugged. "Maybe. Can I be honest?" She asked getting serious.

Katora nodded her head.

"For 10 years I had to pretend to be someone else. I had my light dimmed because I thought I was in love. I had to talk a certain way. Dress a certain way and even act a certain way. I lost myself being in the shadow of someone who was turned on by me being a pussy. There's no other way to put it either."

"I hope that man doesn't come looking for me because I might kill him, honest. I want to be able to breathe again. To live life with no worries."

"So start living Ray. Start back living for you and only you. You are more than what that man tried to make you. He separated you from everything you knew because that's how he knew he could get to you how he wanted. All niggas do is lie to get what they want for their satisfaction."

"I love you and I needed this! You always know how to cheer me up."

"I love your soul Rayne . My bestie boo for life."