Old Flame︱Brennan Sorrengail

violence is always the answer

THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE I MIGHT DIE TODAY. And, you'd think after all this time, I'd welcome it. Years and years of wishing I'd be in some freak accident just so I could have a break from the mounds of hurt crushing my chest. Years of years of acquainting myself with alcohol and booze and everything under the sun just so I'd stop feeling. Years and years of forgetting that I was alive. That it hadn't been him getting the news of my death. No. No, it was the other way around.

I lost him. But I was still here.

But...there's a good chance I might not be. Not for much longer. Not after dealing with the venin. Not after I absorbed the poison in Violet's system.

I couldn't lose another Sorrengail. One was enough for me.

"Why did she do that?" Violet sounded weak. Too weak. Though, it wasn't enough to scare me. She'd be okay. She had to. "Why would she—"

"I don't know, Vi." Xaden's voice was soft—the kind of soft he only used with her.

The kind of soft Brennan used with me.

"Maybe it isn't poison," someone offered. I didn't know who. Everything hurt too much. I could focus on the pain, and that was all. "Maybe it's magic."

"Her blood's black," Imogen cried—a sound I'd never imagine hearing from her.

"It has to be poison," Violet said. "Look at it! We have to get her to Basgiath. Nolon could help."

Nolon. Nolon could help, but it was fucking far . If I felt like this for any longer...I'd prefer a swift death. This was torture. Dealing with the pain. Being cut off from Feyreth. Being stuck in my head. This was the world's shittiest fever dream.

"That's a twelve-hour flight," Xaden called.

Feyreth roared, the sound almost enough to bring me back from the verge of death. If I could see her one more time...

"There's somewhere closer." I could feel the eyes on Xaden as the burning throb ran through me again.

So. Fucking. Unbearable.

Gods, kill me now.

"You can't be serious." Whoever's voice was nothing more than a hiss.

"You'll put everything at risk," someone else added.

Feyreth growled so menacingly that I'd probably shit myself if it were directed towards me.

"I wouldn't say that again," Imogen warned. "Feyreth will eat you. And, Milena saved Violet's life. And, speaking of, Violet could use some help, too. She'll live, but—"

"I'm sorry," Violet pitched in, her voice barely above a whisper. "Where's someone close? And put what at risk?"

Silence. Angry, peaceful silence.

"I'm not saying he shouldn't, just reminding him what the stakes are," Garrick replied, ignoring Violet completely. Her annoyance would've snagged a laugh from me if I weren't busy dying.

Violet moved away from me to go to Xaden. "Whatever you're talking about, however you can save her...We have to."

Xaden must've nodded. "We're going."

☾

I was sure a millennium had passed before I jolted awake again. And the pain hit me harder and harder. It's so fucking unbearable; all I want is for Malek to finally grant me a swift death.

I can't breathe. My lungs forgot how to. Air. I needed air —

"You're sure about this?" Imogen asked.

The more Xaden walked, the more ways I came up with to murder him. I tried to reach him and beg him for a quick mercy, but I was done for. I coudn't feel Feyreth's power. I couldn't feel anything.

Besides a shitwad of excruciating agony.

"Stop asking him that," Garrick retorted. "He and Violet made their decision."

"And it's a bad one," another man argued.

"Fuck off," Violet snapped.

"When you have a hundred and seven scars on your back, then you get to make the fucking decisions, Ciaran," Bodhi snarled.

Feyreth's roar startled me, and I jolted up a mere centimetre, worsening the already terrible pain radiating throughout my entire body.

"What was that?" Garrick asked. I can't even discern where his voice came from.

"I'm sure that translates to 'she'll cook me alive if I fail'," Xaden replied, and I found myself truly surprised he hadn't dropped me. I would've dropped him.

Gods, I wish they'd just let me die. It'd be so much easier that way.

So fucking easy.

"You have to fight, Lena," Violet whispered as we moved. "I'm so pissed at you. I can't lose you. I won't. So fucking fight ."

Fight for what? I wanted to say. Fuck fighting. The only thing I wanted was sleep.

Beautiful, amazing, peaceful sleep.

"Xaden?" a familiar voice calls out, but I can't place it. Bodhi, maybe? Garrick? Fuck, maybe it was morning voice Imogen—

"She's dying."