PHOENIX

3.

As Tony and I ate pizza for dinner once again he speaks up.
"I have a question" Tony asks
"Shoot" I tell him taking another bite
"It's about your necklace, would you mind if I ask something personal" he says with a soft voice, not wanting to push me to answer personally questions
"Sure go ahead. You kinda got it back so why not" I smile

"The bird on the back is a phoenix right? Or at least it looks like it" he says
"I mean yeah I never really thought of that but it does" I answer
"Ok and you said your biological parents gave it to you right?" He asks
"I mean I think they did. Had it with me with the note" I nod
"So, your biological parents gave it to you. And it has a Phoenix on it." He starts to say
"Yes we've established that" I nod
"Just let me do my thing. If you were just born obviously they didn't know about your powers yet, so how would they know you're like a phoenix? Something doesn't add up" he tells me
I just stare at him realizing he was right

"Well shit" I say stunned
"Exactly so either your parents had the powers themselves or... no that's impossible" he says trailing off
"Or what Tony" I ask
"Or there's a chance that there's more worlds out there, where people like you are normal and you're from there. But it's impossible, there only theory's nothings been proven" he explains
"Motherfu- you're right. Yeah it hasn't been proven but it only kinda confirms what's been happening to me" I say as I'm now pasting back and forth
"Wait what's been happening?" He asks confused now

"Oh yeah well I haven't told you cause I thought maybe it was just nightmares but I've been having these dreams, and sometimes I just see this place that feels familiar but I've never been there, it looked like alien like almost. And along with that I've had dreams of like myself I guess, as if I'm somewhere else but I'm still me? It's weird, but maybe those dreams are coming from my powers, since they have a lot to do with the mind, maybe it's connecting to memories and showing me the place I was born" I tell him going on a rant
"Shit. That's a possibility, there's so many things that could go into it" he says as shocked as me

Then we just sit in complete silence for a while thinking.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks me and it catches me off guard
"What?" I ask him
"You told me your dreams stopped, but hearing that they obviously didn't. Why didn't you tell me you were having them?" He asks me
I let out a sigh before looking down
"I know I'm sorry. I just- you didn't sleep because you wanted to be there if I woke up from a nightmare or dream. It was affecting your health Tony, no matter what I said you didn't sleep so I lied. I don't want you hurt or tired or anything like that because of me" I tell him looking away after i finish

"Via-" he starts to say with his soft voice again
"No Tony stop please, I don't want pity or anything like that. I hate it, I feel weak and like im a child that needs some type of saving and I don't! I've lived my entire life by myself, I've been on the run by myself, I've done everything by myself! Alone! So I don't want you treating me like-like that, I just I- I can take care of myself, alright. I don't need you" I yell at him taking a step back when I realize what I said
"Fine, leave then. If you can take care of yourself then go be on the run again" tony tells me then walks off
"Shit I'm so stupid" I groan then let out a yell.

I went up the elevator and went to the top floor. I sit on the roof watching the sun set. Then out of no where tears started flooding down my face.
"No no no stop Octavia stop. Stop crying what is wrong with me" I mumble to myself. I slowly calmed myself down some but tears were still coming out.
"Via" I hear Tony call out behind me

I just pat the spot next to me and he comes to sit down.
"I'm sorry Tony. I shouldn't have said that. I just- I blew up. I'm not used to this life, I'm not used to people actually caring for me and not trying to beat me at any chance they get. And I just took it out on you, it was wrong I'm sorry" I tell him

"No via, I'm sorry. I get it, not many people have been there for me when I was growing up. Now i definitely grew up differently but I had to do it on my own as well. So i understand. I tried to do everything for you because i wanted you to feel comfortable, i wanted to you experience what a... I don't know what a home felt like. But I get it, you still need to feel like you're in control. And I blew up as well, I didn't mean what I said" he laughs at the end

I let a small laugh out before looking at him.
"Thank you Tony. For wanting to make me feel at home" i smile
"Anytime Bird" he smiles back

I turn back to watch the sun set and I lay my head on Tony. So much peace was in that moment. I felt my eyes get heavy and soon I feel asleep. The last thought being....

How the hell do I push down these emotions?