BELOW ZERO: The Green Knight & The Winter Wolf VOL 3 (Cregan Stark x OC)

Chapter Seven (Cregan)

CHAPTER SEVEN

Cregan

Winterfell

With a stag slung over one shoulder and my sword over the other, I walk through the gates of my castle after returning from the Wolf's Wood for a hunt. I'd been gone for only a week to be certain that I'd be back in time for Lady Arra who still has a month left before she is due but I want to be attentive to my wife. Even if she does not like me much.

I think that was the part of all of this that had hurt me the most.

When I wed Arra I knew I wanted to be with her and only her. Unfortunately, she confessed to me soon after falling pregnant that she only married me for her father's sake. To be able to gift them coin and anything else they'd ever want for.

That aside, I swallowed my pride and wanted to be there for her. At the end of the day Arra is still my wife and that is my child inside of her. I told her that after the child is born if she wants to live separate lives I wouldn't be opposed to it. But for her to simply respect that this is my home and my land.

She agreed and asked to stay in a cottage outside the castle walls. I told her she could have her own chamber within the castle and that became another argument. Which then turned into her telling me how much gold and silver she needs to send to her family to support their House and when I heard the number I lost my breath for a long moment.

"Basically your father wants his dowry for you back but multiplied by ten?" I had asked her when she stood in my solar. She gave me a nod and looked at me like I was the idiot and the asshole here. "He will have to be patient. My people need it far more than he does."

"Your people... Your people. It's always about these people and never about me. Never about our baby-"

"It is always about you and our baby, Arra. Do not be thick headed. If I spend half the money of Winterfell in one sitting by gifting it to your father for him to spend it on Gods know what, then how can I provide for you? For our child? I cannot, Arra. That's the answer to that question and to yours. I cannot give your father money that is meant to purchase supplies for winter. Winter is coming, Arra, I cannot do this to my people and that includes you and the baby."

"I hope you die on your stupid hunt." Arra told me before slamming the door as she left my solar that night.

It's been a week and that was the last thing she had said to me. I do hope that she took the time to cool off but as I head into the stable to drop down the stag, Maester Ollivar comes running up to me with a panic on his face.

"My Lord, thank the Gods you're here." He catches his breath as though he's just ran a hundred laps around Winterfell. "It's Lady Arra-"

"What's happened?" I feel my stomach drop. "Is she alright?"

He blinks at me. "She started her labors early this morning before sunrise, my Lord."

I shake my head. "Impossible. She's not due for another month."

He nods. "The babe is small but he is stable. The wet nurses are feeding him and doing what they can to keep him warm. His breathing is good for a babe of his size."

"And Arra? Is she alright? She must be resting-"

"Lord Cregan..."

I know that face.

I know that fucking face.

That's the same look that my father had when he told me that my mother passed away. That's the same look Uncle Bennard had when he told me that my father passed away. And now I will forever remember the look on Ollivar's face as he tells me this news.

"Lady Arra bled a lot, my Lord. She... We did all that we could but... I'm so sorry, my Lord. She's passed on to the Gods."

"Did she... Did she want you to say anything to me at all?" Perhaps an apology... Perhaps that she loves me and will be with me always. A name for our son? Anything... Anything but those final words that she said to me.

Ollivar swallows hard. "Lord Cregan, you are my friend. Since we were children... I'm going to tell you right now not as your Maester, but as your friend... You do not want to know the foul words she said about you during her labors. Even when she said she was not in pain and was laughing with maids and nurses... She had nothing good to say. I will protect you from those daggers of words."

"Take me to my son... Please."

-

He's small...

He's very small and fragile and holding him feels wrong. Looking around the nursery and not seeing Arra feels wrong. I let the tears slide down my cheeks as I rock him gently. Terrified I'll rock him too much and shatter his bones.

"It's you and me, little guy..." I say through tears realizing that once upon a time my father had held my younger brother in his arms and said the same thing. Only for my little brother to die hours later.

After those hours my father climbed into my bed with me and cried. He cried and cried and held me all night long. No one else in this castle had seen my father cry ever. No one but me. And that image is forever burned into my mind.

My father never remarried after my mother. He took a few mistresses but they never lasted long. Some say he'd lost his mind in his final years and would make them pretend they were my mother and if they questioned him or seemed confused he'd kick them out or send them away with enough gold to start a new life somewhere far away from him.

I don't believe my father to have been that type of man. He loved my mother too much to ever utter her name to any whore let alone pretend that some girl from the brothel or a girl from the kitchen was my mother.

"You look just like me..." I tell the boy in my arms. "My mother used to say babies are like birds without feathers. So dependent and fragile. A flight risk... You certainly are exactly what my mother describe, little one."

He sucks onto his little fingers and tries to open his eyes but they simply flutter.

"It's okay... You don't want to look at me right now, I can assure you of that much." I kiss his head and feel a sob in the center of my throat. I choke it down and let the tears fall even more. Sniffling and then looking around the room again.

This room has become sad to me. It's so dark... So dreary.

"Tomorrow I will fix this up for you. Let in more light and brighten it up in here. Perhaps I'll have a tapestry made for you with your name on it." Name.. I need to name the boy. I can't just call him a baby or Little Lord Stark forever... He needs a true name.

"Ralph?" I say aloud and he makes a fussy face. "No... That won't do. Oscar? Brynden? Jon? Aerion? Jasper? Aerys?"

None of those would do for a future Lord of Winterfell.

None would do for my son.

I thought of it for a moment and nothing had come to mind yet. A knock came to the door and Randyll Dustin had stood there with a ghostly look on his face. I give him a nod and he comes in and hands me a letter.

"Perhaps bad timing to give you this. It's from Prince Jacerys and Princess Helaena." I scan over the words and chuckle to myself. Handing the letter back to him and looking down at my son again.

"They also had a son... Jahaerys Cregan Velaryon... Poor kid has to carry my name for the rest of his life." I can't take my eyes from my own son. "Rickon..."

Randyll tilts his head to the side. "Is that the name you've chosen? I can tell Ollivar so he can send word to the Citadel."

"Rickon Jacerys Stark." I smile. "And tell Jace that payback is a bitch and he should come meet the boy who will sit the Stark throne with his name."

Randyll smiles back. "Yes, my Lord. Congratulations and my condolences for Lady Arra."