BELOW ZERO: The Green Knight & The Winter Wolf VOL 3 (Cregan Stark x OC)

Chapter Thirty-Seven (Alana)

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Alana

ONE WEEK LATER

King's Landing

Today was Gwayne's funeral. Seeing his body in the sept should have turned my legs to water. Should have ripped my heart from my chest. Seeing him lifeless and knowing that he would never get to see or hold Maegor should have destroyed me.

For seven days I have cried in my chambers. Holding my son became a chore by the end of the day. I never planned on letting wet nurses take him at night and stay with him in the nursery but days end and night fall I was exhausted. Drained of all emotion and rational thinking.

Cregan tells me it was a good thing I was not there to witness it. He tells me it was a heated battle between Daemon and Gwayne but I don't believe it. Gwayne was a gallant knight but he knew better than to mess with Daemon. He knew better...

Gwayne wouldn't have poked the sleeping bear knowing that his child was to be born at any moment... And they say that the moment Gwayne took his last breath was the moment that Maegor let out his first scream in this world. My mother sees it as a blessing. A life lost for a life gained.

As I'm in Alicent's chambers with her as she takes off her black veil and sits it on her vanity she offers me a cup of wine. I accept as I hold Maegor in my arms, the smaller version of Gwayne is sound asleep and sometimes making little groans that I am not used to hearing yet.

"You were there." I say plainly to Alicent as she sits down across from me. "Tell me again how it happened."

Alicent sighs. "Alana, how many times do I have to tell you? Gwayne thought himself to have been on top of the world. He was taunting and teasing Daemon who did not even have his sword drawn. He played himself for a fool during a tourney. He knew this was not just child's play and he agreed to go against Daemon."

I narrowed my gaze upon her. How is she so calm? And irritated with me? I move Maegor to be chest to chest with me, rubbing his back and feeling him breathe against me has been something that calms me when I start to spiral.

Reminding myself that although Gwayne is gone I have the best part of him right here. He is breathing and he is alive and well. He has my eyes so far but everything else... Everything else about Maegor is Gwayne.

"But why would Daemon resort right to killing Gwayne? He struck him through the soft spot of his armor. I would know where all those spots are. Daemon and Harwin both taught me! Alicent there is something that is not adding up and for the sake of my son, I need to find out."

Alicent ignores me.

"He is gone, Alana. He is gone just like Viserys is gone. You and I both have been widowed but look at the bright side... You can wed again and not have it be a secret. You will not have to face the judgement of two husbands at once or your husbands sharing a wife. Each day you live will be a life of happiness. You wanted Lord Cregan before you had wed Gwayne. The Gods have made that possible for you."

"Daemon is not one of the Seven."

Alicent rolled her eyes. "That is not what I am saying, Alana, do not twist my words. I'm saying that you are free. You and your little boy... You are free of Gwayne and you are free of my father."

I pause and my brows meet in a furrow at her. "What do you mean by that?" Did Otto say something to her about the words he spewed at me the day of Gwayne's death? And free of Gwayne? Yes I may have been angry with him.. I may have begged for Silverwing to bring me home and away from him but she would not fly with me. Even now if I go out to see her with Maegor she refuses to get too close. I think she fears she will hurt him because he is a baby and she is so large.

"Move to Winterfell... Daeron can be heir to Oldtown if you want so that you can keep your son safe with you. Or..."

"Or?"

"Tell my father Gwayne was never the father. Save my nephew... Save him from being corrupted by Otto Hightower. Save yourself from being a mother who's child is torn from her arms and forced to be put in that prison of a castle. Alana please, heed my warning... My father will try to make that boy be Gwayne all over again and he will never let you see him. Do you truly think letting Daeron go to Oldtown was my or Daemon's choice? Yes we had to protect him from Viserys but I wanted him to go to Dragonstone. With all of you. It was my father who took my newborn from my arms and forced him to Gwayne with all these stories of me. Not wanting to be a mother to the boy? Lies. I wanted that child more than any of my others if I'm honest. When you love someone and you hold the child you made with them in your arms it is a different kind of love that you feel. There will come a day you make a child or many of children with Lord Cregan and I promise you that no matter how much you love Rickon or Maegor, the moment you hold the child that you two made together... You will know love."

"Do you truly believe that your father will try to take my son from me? That he will hold him ward in Oldtown until he is the heir?" I swallowed hard and held my son closer to my body. Alicent nodded solemnly and I felt it... I felt tears welling in my eyes.

I could not cry over Gwayne's cold body that was a shell of the man I once loved. I did not cry kissing his lips over and over before leaving the sept. I did not cry holding Maegor close to his body just to catch some sort of a glimpse of Gwayne and Maegor together...

But the thought of Otto Hightower taking my newborn son away from me so he can have some sort of a power trip and redo at being a father by using my child to do that? No fucking way. Over my dead body.

Over Gwayne's dead body.

"If I tell Otto Hightower that this baby..." I sniffled and caught my breath. "That my son belongs to Cregan and not Gwayne... Which would be a lie..."

"He'd name your child a bastard. Yes, but you and Maegor would be free... Cregan and Rickon would be able to have you in Winterfell with them and Alana... When I tell you to leave this place and do not ever look back I am telling you this from the bottom of my heart. You are more than just Rhaenyra's daughter. You are my daughter too and that is why I feel so compelled to protect you. I have loved your mother since we were girls together. We grew up together... And when she had you it was like our family was truly coming together bit my bit. I only had Helaena as my only girl but you? You were the second girl that we knew we couldn't live without. Then having Aelyssa... Our family is complete."

"Promise me that when I tell the realm that this is not the son of Gwayne Hightower... That you will protect me, Jace, Joffrey and Luke.. Your father has made it known that he knows the hidden truth. I never told Gwayne that Harwin was my father but trust that Maegor will always know Gwayne was his..."

Alicent nods. "King's Landing will not be safe for you or your son until my father has been dealt with and trust... He will be dealt with."

When I left Alicent's chambers I had half expected to feel better than I did walking in there. I expected the empty feeling to have faded and it did... But now I am filled with sorrow and regret. If I had gone to the tourney fields someone would have alerted Gwayne quicker than I had been in labor.

Gwayne didn't even know I was in labor...

He died not knowing I was pushing out his son. He died not knowing he had a son, he died and he left me here alone to pick up the fucking pieces. My breathing quickens as I walk through the hall toward my chamber and mentally prepare myself to talk to Cregan about this. To tell him he has to lie. He has to say that Maegor is his son.

That's when I see Daemon. The man who was a father to me when I had none. He strides toward me and I freeze. I want to blame him and I want to hate him. He stands in front of me and swallows hard. Cupping the back of Maegor's head with his hand and pressing his forehead to my temple. "Daughter... I am sorry. I let the anger of what he had done to you get the better of me."

"You... You-"

"I had to save you from him." Daemon admits to me. "Anger blinded me when I heard from Lord Cregan all that Gwayne had done. All the pain he caused you. I couldn't let him get away with it." My chest tightens... Cregan... Cregan caused this...