BELOW ZERO: The Green Knight & The Winter Wolf VOL 3 (Cregan Stark x OC)

Chapter Nine (Cregan)

CHAPTER NINE

Cregan

Six months later...

Winterfell

On my first name-day my father held a feast for every lord, rich or poor, in the north to come and celebrate the future Lord of Winterfell. Ladies had begged for my father to betroth me, an infant who was shitting in his swaddling clothes, to be betrothed to their unborn daughters and newborn daughters. Begging to let their girls be the next Lady of Winterfell and Lady of the North. My father declined each and every one of them.

"This is a time to celebrate the birth of my son. Not dictate his future for him. Eat, drink, dance, and give your fealty to the future Lord of the North." My father had replied to each and every one of them.

Today is my son's first name-day and I am not hosting a feast in his honor because today is not just the day of his birth but it is a reminder that today is the death of his mother. My wife who died hating me. Died cursing my name and wishing nothing but the worst for me.

Well, she's gotten her wish.

This has been the worst year of my entire life.

Rickon needed constant attention the first few months of his life. If I stopped holding him he'd scream until he'd vomit. If I got him to sleep and placed him in his cradle he'd awake instantly and cry until I let him sleep either on my chest or in my bed with me.

Once he started to learn how to grab things it was no longer fun and games carrying around a baby all day. He'd rip at my hair, scratch my face, and if I had a cup of anything to drink he'd throw it down to the ground. Flipping plates of food across tables and throwing infinite tantrums that were the most humiliating to me. I could never calm him down on my own. Yet if I handed him over to a wet nurse he'd scream and cry to be back in my arms. Just to rip and pull at every part of me.

The worst has been the moment he started to become mobile.

Wanting to crawl everywhere and get into anything and everything that is deadly to him. I had to block off the fire place in every chamber with the fear he'd crawl right into it. He loves watching the flames though. He'll sit idly on a fur on the floor in front of it and just stare at the fire.

He plays with little toys now at a year old and his favorite to play with has been a dragon. I immediately wrote to Jacerys and begged for him to come visit. Bring his little one. Bring the dragons. Bring anyone who could help me with this child.

Jacerys found it all comical when I had written him a two-page letter of everything that'd been happening. He said babies do that and it's normal. They'll grow out of it. Thankfully Rickon has started to finally grow out of it but now that he is walking or should I say, running, everywhere it's sometimes impossible to keep up with him.

A rider came with a package from Jacerys and Helaena. A gift from them to my son for his first name-day and when I opened it with Rickon he was thrilled... But tears poured down my face. They had a quilt made for him with a grey colored dragon on it. The colors of House Stark but the face of House Targaryen.

"Wow!" Rickon gasped with a smile as he wrapped himself in it.

He says little words here and there. Mainly "Dada" and "wow!" sometimes "more" when he wants more food or something to drink. "No" has become a favorite of his though. Everything is "no" these days.

I feel like the tapestry I'd sent them of a wolf in the mountains was not nearly as nice as this gift now. It has been a long first year doing all of this alone. Changing his swaddling rags and giving him baths. Going days without sleeping because he hasn't stopped crying and fussing. Losing my temper on people who didn't deserve my harsh words... I have not been the best version of myself at all.

Arra's father came last week and I thought it was a visit for him to see Rickon but instead he came with his hand out looking for Arra's dowry.

"She died on your watch, Cregan. I want my money back since I will never my daughter back." He said as though he sold me cattle rather than me being wed to his daughter. He saw Arra as nothing less than a business transaction. And she was willing to hate me forever for not wanting to be his personal bank.

"You have yet to meet your grandson-"

"I refuse to look at the bastard. Killed my little girl, that's what the whelp did. Kill my little girl! You and that little fuck!"

My fist gladly met with his jaw. He spit out blood and a few teeth to which I only cracked my knuckles and shook it off. Standing tall over him as he cupped his jaw with his hand and called me names in a mutter that I hardly understood.

"Cunt" was thrown in there a few times but the moment I bawled my fist again he was silenced.

"You will never again speak of my son in such a manner." I told him. Watching him cower in fear from me was the only bit of strength I had found in myself in a year. "You are worthless to me, Lord Norrey. Your daughter was an ignorant bitch, I will not deny it, but I loved her for the son she gave me. For the compassion she once had for me until you filled her head with a want only for money and gold. You ruined her. You made her hate me... For that, I wish you a slow painful death."

"Piss on you, Lord Stark."

That was the last I had seen or heard of Lord Norrey. He sent nothing for Rickon's name-day. His entire household has apparently been shut in their home. Not leaving the walls of their keep and only sending servants out to do their errands for them.

There was a letter in the bottom of the box from Jacerys. I pick it up and read it carefully while blinking away tears. He starts off comical of course, saying that it's a shame Rickon is not blood of the dragon because with him carrying the name Jacerys as his second name he'd be a pretty cool dragon rider.

He then starts to vent about how life is going down in King's Landing. The state of affairs down there and how his mother has stayed in court for a long while now, only checking in once in a while in Dragonstone where she's meant to be living but due to her father's poor health she'd taken up residence in King's Landing. She's also been preparing Jacerys for his future ruling that won't happen any time soon but he still must be prepared.

But unless he has luck like mine he'll be an old man by the time it is his turn to sit the Iron Throne. I continue reading as he then divulges into the drama of King's Landing. His sister's betrothal being drawn on because his mother does not trust that he has good intentions. His younger brother demanding a tourney for his next name-day. Which will be his sixteenth and he wants me to bring Rickon down to King's Landing for it. Even if I do not joust. It'll be fun to watch...

I do consider it. It's in a year's time and perhaps by then Rickon will be calmer and maybe the travel will do him well. Winter is coming and I know that a babe like him may not fair well in the cold. Although he is a northerner and he should be prepared for it I'd certainly like to escape it just for a little while.

Jacerys then adds his condolences again for the loss of Lady Arra and he and Helaena send their sympathies for this tough year that I'd had. I fold the letter back up and place it back into the box. I want to cry about it. I want to pack everything up and travel down south to see my best friend who has become a brother to me. I want so badly to forget all the traumas of the year that has past but I cannot do that.

Not yet at least.

Once Rickon is down for his nap in my bed, I grab a book and use it as a solid surface as I write a thank you letter to Jacerys and Helaena, but mainly a letter to Jacerys. Once again requesting for him to come and visit here in the north... He can come alone if it's easier that way. He can fly on his dragon and stay for only a few days.

I just need to surround myself with someone who isn't going to pity me the entire time. Someone who knows what having a small child is like. Someone who knows me unlike these people here who pretend that they do.

I need to feel as though I've escaped this fucking hell.