Two Bleeding Hearts [discontinued? may return]

Chapter 17: Here For You (Pt 1/2)

After Charlie told Alastor what Angel said his heart sank. It couldn't be what he thought it meant right? No it couldn't... it shouldn't... it shouldn't be true because he should have been there to help, not be the cause. He didn't entirely mean what he said, sure he finds certain feelings make you weak but... he still felt them for Lucifer. Love, concern, sadness, fear... he felt all of that right now and he hated it, but what he hated most was knowing that Lucifer was hurting and all he did was make it worse.

C: Alastor?

He was in his own world of thoughts but Charlie quickly snapped him back to reality as she spoke

C: Are you okay? You don't seem okay to me...

A: I... I just...

He had never been in this situation before or felt all these emotions in such a long time, the last time he felt anything like this was when his mother died...

A: I have no idea what to do right now...

C: How about I go talk to him and give you some time to think about it?

A: Alright then

Charlie got up and left the room, slowly closing the door behind her leaving Alastor with his thoughts. He hated it but all he could think about was feelings. All he could think about was how much he hated what he had said and done and how it made Lucifer feel... and how that made himself feel...

I didn't mean for this to happen
I didn't mean it
I didn't mean it
I did... but this was not what I wanted to happen
He wasn't supposed to get hurt
I meant what I said but not for him...
I never mean it when it's him...

~

Alastor had no idea that any time had passed at all, he was stuck in his own world of emotions he didn't want to feel but there was no escape from

That was until someone opened the door

C: Hey Alastor...

Hearing her defeated tone, watching her as she slowly stepped into the room with her head down, the clear signs on her face she was crying, it all made him feel so much worse. Not only did he cause the one he cared about pain but... he also caused a father pain. He caused a daughter pain. Why did he suddenly care so much? He knew it was because he loved them but he wasn't supposed to... both by his own rules and hers.

A: How is Lucifer doing? Is he okay? Is he-

C: Whoa! calm down! It's alright he's... he isn't "okay" but... he said he was better than before.

Alastor hadn't even realised that he had quickly stood up in a panic, wondering if Lucifer was okay.

C: I think maybe you should talk to him? My dad loves you, a LOT. I haven't seen him that happy in ages, one mistake won't ruin everything because I have a feeling you said some stuff you didn't mean, am I right or no?

He gave a small nod, half embarrassed by how concerned he was but yet it was true, he didn't mean it, well not entirely 

A: I'll uh... I'll go talk to him now

~

HI UH SO IT'S BEEN A WHILE AGAIN- I am SO sorry for leaving again and I REALLY hope this time  I can stay longer but stuff keeps coming up and making my mental health shitty and all that and it's hard to say the least, thank you to those that are still here reading this piece of shit

On that note, it's suicide prevention month this month! Uh don't really know what to say about that buuuut yeah.

Why am I making 2 parts and not 1? wellllll I felt bad leaving you guys with nothing for so long and I wanted to give you something at the least, also sorry if this chapter is weird uh my brain was kinda soup while writing the first half :P

ANYWAY that is all I have to say for now and I have had lots of motivation somehow now that school has started so I'll see you soon sinners and winners! This time I'm sure of it >:3 See you soon!!