The Boy Girl Project

10~ Hurt

Hurt, anger, regret. Every emotion similar to that was running through my mind. I triggered Shawn's freaking PPD. Why was I do stupid? I looked at Shawn and saw fear in his eyes. "Shawn, I would hurt me ten times before I would even think of hurting you."

His eyes softened and he stretched his hand out. "I'm sorry Jamie. I can't control my PPD. You know that. Come here." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head, his heart beat increasing.

"Don't be sorry Shawn." Carson watched us and excused himself from the room. "When do you get out of the hospital?" I asked him, he never removed his hands from my torso. I looked at the clock; five minutes left.

"Tomorrow, if I'm not stupid." He added laughing, I laughed along with him. "Hey Shawn I gotta go for my solo. I'll be back afterwards." He nodded and he gave me the 'win it all' signal we do for each of our games.

I walked to the waiting room, bidding Carson good bye and then walking to my car. I met the girls at the door and we walked to the backstage area. "You're gonna do great Jamie!" Jennifer promised me, I have her one last hug before going on stage and getting into my position.

When the beginning lyrics of the song came on, I took quick, fast steps; also know as an allégro.

There's a dream in my soul,
A fire deep inside me.
There's a me no one knows,
Waiting to be set free.

I slowed down my pace and positioned myself into a perfect arabesque, pausing slowly, and then spinning into three perfect twirls.

I'm gonna see that day,
I can feel it.
I can taste it.
Change is coming my way.

I stopped spinning and rested into a chasse, then setting out into changement. After two hops, i performed three pas de chats.

I was born to be somebody,
Ain't nothing that's ever gonna stop me.

I landed into a pirouette, slowly bending back wards so my back was arched. I gracefully got back up and began to twirl and leap across the stage.

I light up the sky like  lightning,
I'm gonna rise above,
Show what I'm made of.
I was born to be somebody.
I was born to be,
And this world belongs to me.

I landed gracefully again, and ended the song in a glissade. When the light went off me, I walked off stage to be bombarded by Jennifer and the rest of the girls. "Omg! Ames you looked amazing! You did it so flawlessly and gracefully!!!" Jennifer said before squishing me into a bone crushing hug.

I laughed, "thanks so much! I was so nervous!!!" Mrs. Day hugged me next, congratulating me. "I'll send you the video of you dancing." Mrs. Day always recorded me, not for her to watch but for me. So I could know what to improve for next year. Sadly, there is no next year. I'm a senior and I graduate in five months.

I hugged everyone else and then marched to the dressing room to change into sweatpants and a pink tank top. I slid on my Nike slides and I told Mrs. Day where I was going. I jumped back into my car and drove to the hospital. I rushed into Shawn's room and saw Carson was watching Criminal Minds. "Derek is wayyyyyy cuter than you." I said, Carson glanced up to me and laughed. "You wish. I am like the hottest guy on earth!" I smiled, and walked over to Shawn's bed. I laid down next to him. 

"Hey how was your competition?" Shawn asked me, oblivious to mine and Carson's conversation. "Tiring." I said before snuggling into his side, and falling asleep.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I woke up, someone's arm was around me and another person had there legs on me. Where the heck am I? Then everything unwrapped into my head. The hospital. Shawn's PPD. Everything. I got up to stretch and looked at the time. It was 12 o'clock, the banquet was at 3. I had to get back to the hotel to get ready. 

I gave Shawn a hug and Carson a ruffle on the head. "Bow tie event?" Carson asked, I raised my eyebrow at him and he smiled. "You didn't think we would miss your banquet did you?" I smiled and nodded.

"Bow tie event." And I walked out the door. Driving back to the hotel, I was distracted a lot. Distracted and stressed out. Shawn's PPD just made a reaccourance, and when it does, it makes sure to spend the night a couple of times.

On top of that, I just found out I had a step brother, and step mother. As well as college, dancing, my health issues. As I was thinking I heard my phone go off. I quickly reached out to grab it, but that was the last thing I remember.

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Yes I know, this was a reallllyyyy short chapter but whateve. So school starts in a couple of days and I dont know if im going to have time to write every tuesday. So i might start to change my schedual to updating every saturday or evert friday night, cuz me have no life as you can tell. P:

Anywhooo i have never been to a dance competition nor have I ever taken dance lessons, so I have no clue what the heck i was talking about when i described her dancing. I just googled ballet posititions and seen what they looked like on google images and then put together what i thought looked good.

After my rant:
What did you think of her solo compeitition? *i have no clue if i am spelling that word correct lol* how about shawns ppd? Or the cliffhanger?? Mwahahahaha.

"You give me hope in-spite of everything you show me love even in so much pain. I take this life and live like ive given another try." this song was feat. in Letters To God, and its really sad :') but since I write these chapters like a month b4 i post its really like july 14th right now and my grandma died july 6th and this song really reminds me of her. Idk why i am talkig about this lol.

Im weird.

Adios
Volleyballauthor1321;)
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Oh teaser!!! lol hahah:
Ummmm... What does Jamie mean by the last part? Hmmm i wonder.