Chapter 63: She's been Depressed for Years

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-The next day-

Bay, Austin: *In the cafeteria, buys food for themsleves, sits at a table, eats*

Austin: Can I ask you something

Bay: Sure

Austin: When did Ally start self harming herself, do you know?

Bay: She's been depressed for years

Austin: Did it start when your mom died

Bay: *Shakes* No it was a few years before that

Austin: Do you know when and what the reason was

Bay: Yes, I found out because I noticed she would always wear long sleeves and never wanted to leave the house, so when she was at school one day, I went through her room and looked everywhere to find something and I found a notebook with all her thoughts that she wrote down and a packet of blades hidden underneath her clothes

Austin: When was that

Bay: It was a year before our mother died, she was 13

Austin: What did she write

Bay: She wrote that she first started to cut when she was 11 and she hated life and hated herself and she wished she was never born. *Teary eyes* She blamed herself for our father abusing her and thought there was something wrong with her 

Austin: *Teary eyes* But he abused you too

Bay: He abused her way more than me because she is younger 

Austin: *Shakes his head* That's awful

Bay: *Nods* Yea and she also wrote that she starved herself because our father would verbally abuse her too and call her worthless and ugly and all these things and she believed she was fat and wasn't beautiful, and she became anorexic 

Austin: *Shakes his head* 

Bay: And she wrote that she couldn't tell anyone because she thought no one would ever look at her the same, so she had to keep it all inside

Austin: She hid everything

Bay: *Nods* Yea

Austin: I had no idea, she never told me

Bay: That's because she didn't want you to know and because she never stopped

Austin: *Nods* I get that now

Bay, Austin: *Finishes eating, throws their trash away, goes back upstairs into Ally's room, sits down next to her bed* Hey Ally

Ally: Hi

Bay: Are you feeling better

Ally: I'm getting there

Bay: *Phone rings**Looks at caller ID* It's Emmett, I'll be right back, stands up, answers it* Hey Emmett *Walks out*

Austin: *Looks at her**Holds her hand*

Ally: I wish my bathroom door had a lock so you wouldn't have walked in

Austin: *Shakes his head* No I'm glad you're bathroom door doesn't have a lock because if it did you would of died *Teary eyes* and I would of lost you *Tears come down his face* I almost lost you my love

Ally: *Tears come down her face* I'm sorry

Austin: Remember you can always talk to me no matter what it's about

Ally: *Nods* I know

Austin: If you ever feel like cutting or killing yourself I want you to come and talk to me

Ally: *Nods* I will, I promise

Austin: Good *Kisses her*

Ally: *Kisses back*

Austin: *Pulls away*

Ally: I love you

Austin: I love you so much, you are love

Ally: You are mine too

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