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2 months later

Megan

It has officially been 3 months since I started at a new school and I'd like to say I've adjusted nicely. I have made so many new friends, but I mainly hang out with kellon, glo, and nicki. Me and glo have gotten so close on a friendship level, and I don't look at her as anything more. Being with pardi has definitely gotten rid of any feelings I had for her. Speaking of pardi, we have been doing well. He has his moments, but he has yet to lay his hands on me again. Glo approves of our relationship since she doesn't know what really happened, but kellon and jaela are still skeptical. My mom also seems to like him.

I'm so glad jaela and I are still so close. Out of all my friends from my other school, jaela is the only one i still talk to. The others just stopped putting effort into keeping the friendship up. They would continuously cancel plans and they never would respond in the gc or facetime me. I'm not pressed about it though. They obviously wasn't meant to be in my life for a reason.

Today I am going out on a date with pardi. We have been officially dating for a few weeks now. From the outside it looks like we are the epitome of relationship goals, but from the inside we still have issues. However we are really trying to sort them out, well I am at least. It's like a rollercoaster being with him. Some days are great and I be ready to spend the rest of my life with him. Then there are days when I feel like kellon was right and I deserve so much more. But I feel like i'm too deep now to back out. He needs me.

Tonight I'm going to focus on the positive aspects of our relationship. We have not gotten into an argument in a couple days and everything is great right now. I decide to put on a cute dress that I know pardi will like. I straightened my hair and did my makeup to perfection.

As I look in the mirror, that nagging voice in my head is telling me that this is all pretend

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As I look in the mirror, that nagging voice in my head is telling me that this is all pretend. Just a way for me to compress my feelings. That I don't really like pardi. That I want glo instead. I push those thoughts away and grab my purse. Tonight is about us. My phone dings letting me know that pardi is outside and I make my way out the house.

As soon as I get in the car I can tell he's in a good mood. He showers me with compliments as always and gives me a kiss, one that almost made me want to cancel the date. It's times like these where I can forget about all the bad times. "I could take you back to my place and I'll eat you instead?" He suggest and I giggle. "you can't eat dessert before your dinner love." He groans dramatically before smiling. "as long as I get it."

We make our way to the dinner and as I walk in I can't help but to notice the occasional glances and sometimes full on stares of other girls. Part of me feels a little cocky that I got such a fine man all to myself, the other half annoyed that he draws so much attention. I grab his hand as the waiter leads us to a table. The night goes smoothly as we eat our food, which was delicious. He talked to me about his business and how he planned to expand it. He failed to mention anything pertaining to drugs, which I appreciated, but I know that's the only business he has so.

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