Wannabe

10

1 week later

Megan

The weight of the day hit me the moment I opened my eyes. No amount of sunlight filtering through the blinds could chase away the heavy feeling in my chest. Today wasn't just any day. It was the two year anniversary for my father's death, and the pain felt just as raw as it did back then.

I dragged myself out of bed, knowing there wasn't anything that could ease the ache. I made my way downstairs and to the kitchen. I reached for the bottle in the cabinet, hoping, just maybe, it could numb the pain, even if only for a little while.

My mom was out on a business trip, meaning I get the house all to myself today. I couldn't bear being alone, so I invited nicki over cause I knew today would be hard for me. I just needed someone's company to take my mind off him.

There was no one else I felt comfortable being super vulnerable around, except jaela. But she was out of town. I was still scared to open up and show glo my vulnerable side, afraid she wouldn't be able to handle it. And kellon, idk he's just kellon. I wasn't in the mood for his version of comfort.

I pour myself a shot and sank into the couch. I can't stop the tears that were falling from my eyes. They have been since I woke up.

My doorbell rings and I wiped my face quickly. I sat my drink down getting up to open it. When I do, Nicki greets me with a tight hug. "you okay love?" she asks gently. That question always makes me cry, and that's exactly what I did as I break down into more tears. I shake my head no in response.

She leads me to the couch and sits me down. She sits beside me and wraps her arm around my shoulder. "it's okay to let it out." she says softly.

I continue to cry and nicki pours me a shot of henny. She hands it to me gently. "here this will help." I take the shot and the warmth of the alcohol quickly spreads across my body. She pours herself a drink, getting comfortable next to me.

The room fell silent, except my occasional sniffing or the sound of the henny bottle clinking my glass as I take shot after shot. Nicki watches me concerned, but doesn't stop it.

She reaches out and takes my hand in hers. "I know I can't replace your dad, but i'm here for you megan. your not alone okay?"

I nod, "thank you nicki, i couldn't be alone today."

She gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I'm so glad you called me. You know I care about you."

We sit together slowly emptying the henny bottle. The alcohol has definitely started to take effect as my initial sadness has disappeared. In fact, I felt completely numb to all emotions. The room around me was blurry and I felt as if I was in my own world.

I guess nicki senses this since she grabs my hand pulling me up. She leads me upstairs to my room and sits me on the bed. She sits next to me.

I lean into her and she strokes my hair gently. "do you want to talk about him?" She asks quietly. I shake my head no.

She nods and after a long pause, leans in kissing my forehead. Her lips lingered there longer than usual. I pulled away to look at her.

Her eyes softens and she holds my face. "you're not alone megan." This time her voice sounded different.

Before I could even register what was happening, Nicki leans in, pressing her lips against mine. The kiss was soft but tentative. My entire body freezes. My mind screamed for me to pull away. But I couldn't move. The weight of everything, grieving, the alcohol, being alone, it kept me there. But then I found myself kissing her back.