Whispered Promises

Chapter 20 - Tides of Emotion

Alex POV

A couple of days had passed since the beach outing, and the library was now my refuge. It was quiet, save for the occasional rustle of paper or the soft click of a pen. I sat at one of the large oak tables, my books spread out before me like a battlefield. Formulas, graphs, and notes scrawled in my handwriting covered the pages, but no matter how hard I stared at them, the information just didn't seem to stick. I tapped my pen nervously on the edge of my notebook, trying to make sense of the equations in front of me.

"Alex?" Lucien's soft voice cut through my frustration, and I looked up to see him watching me with a gentle smile.

Lucien was everything his brother wasn't—kind, patient, thoughtful. He didn't carry the same cocky swagger that Levi did, and he didn't have that permanent smirk that made my blood boil. Instead, Lucien was warm and easy to be around, with his neat appearance, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, and a calm demeanor that somehow made me feel more relaxed.

"Sorry," I muttered, pushing my hair back and trying to focus. "I'm just... I don't know. This stuff is hard."

Lucien smiled at me, his eyes soft behind his glasses. "That's okay. We'll take it slow. You're doing great, you know."

I felt a strange flutter in my chest at his words. Lucien was always encouraging me, always reassuring me that I could do this. And honestly, I liked spending time with him. He was easy to talk to, and he never made me feel stupid when I didn't understand something. I wasn't used to that. In my world of football and constant competition, patience wasn't something I encountered often.

But at the same time, I felt... off. There was something about being around Lucien that made me feel conflicted. He was sweet, but in a way that made me nervous, like I might break him if I wasn't careful. I wasn't used to softness like his, and I wasn't sure I knew how to handle it.

Lucien slid his chair a little closer, leaning over the table to look at my notes. "Alright, so let's look at this again. This formula here—" he pointed to my page, "—is the key to solving the rest of the problem. You just have to break it down step by step."

I nodded, trying to focus on his words. I really did appreciate his help. I wouldn't have passed half my classes without him, and I hated admitting that. I wasn't dumb, but academics had never been my strong suit, and Lucien made it all seem so... easy.

"You're sure you don't mind helping me with this?" I asked, glancing at him from the corner of my eye. "I mean, I know you're busy with your own stuff. I don't want to be a burden."

Lucien chuckled softly, shaking his head. "You're not a burden, Alex. I like helping you. It's nice to spend time with someone who isn't obsessing over video games or anime for once."

I smiled, a genuine warmth spreading through me. Lucien was just so... nice. He wasn't like Levi, who constantly challenged me, pushed my buttons, and made me want to throw something at his head. Lucien was calm, and I found myself gravitating toward that calmness. He made me feel safe.

"Well," I said, trying to lighten the mood, "if I'm not bugging you, then I guess I'll keep you around a little longer."

Lucien smiled again, but there was a softness in his eyes that made my stomach flip. For a moment, I wondered if he liked me—really liked me. He had always been kind, always made time for me when I needed help, but recently, I'd noticed the way he looked at me. There was something different in his gaze, something that made me feel a little... nervous.

The truth was, I did like Lucien. He was smart, sweet, and he made me feel good about myself in a way that no one else did. But there was also something holding me back—something I couldn't quite explain. I wasn't sure if it was because Lucien was so different from me, or if it was because I was afraid of hurting him. He wasn't like Levi, who could take whatever I threw at him. Lucien was... delicate, in a way. And I wasn't used to being careful with people. I was rough, sharp-edged, and I wasn't sure if Lucien could handle that side of me.

I glanced at him again, watching as he patiently explained the next step of the problem. His voice was soft, and his brow furrowed slightly in concentration as he pointed to the numbers on the page. There was something so earnest about him, something that made me want to be better—softer, kinder.

But could I do that? Could I be the kind of person Lucien deserved?

"You're quiet today," Lucien said suddenly, looking up at me with concern. "Everything okay?"

I blinked, realizing I'd been lost in my thoughts. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just... thinking."

"About?"

I hesitated, chewing on the inside of my cheek. I didn't want to tell him what was really on my mind. It felt too complicated, too messy. So instead, I shrugged. "Just about school and football. You know, the usual stuff."

Lucien nodded, though I could tell he wasn't entirely convinced. He always seemed to see through me, and that was another thing that made me nervous. I wasn't used to people noticing when something was bothering me.

"Well, if you ever want to talk about anything," Lucien said gently, "I'm here. I know football can be stressful, and you've got a lot on your plate. But you don't have to carry it all by yourself."

"Thanks," I murmured, looking down at my notebook. "I appreciate it."

We fell into a comfortable silence after that, with Lucien going back to explaining the formulas and me trying my best to follow along. But my mind kept drifting, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. I liked Lucien—I really did. But there was something holding me back, something that made me hesitate every time I thought about the possibility of more between us.

And then, without meaning to, my thoughts drifted to Levi.

It was ridiculous, really. Levi was the last person I should be thinking about. He was cocky, arrogant, and infuriatingly good at pushing my buttons. But there was also something about him that got under my skin in a way that Lucien didn't. Levi challenged me, made me feel alive, even if it was usually in the form of anger. And as much as I hated to admit it, there was a part of me that craved that challenge.

But Levi wasn't safe. He wasn't like Lucien, who made me feel calm and secure. Levi was fire and chaos, and I wasn't sure I could handle that kind of heat. Still, I couldn't deny the pull I felt whenever he was around, the way my heart raced whenever we argued, the way I felt more alive when I was with him than I ever did with anyone else.

"Alex?"

Lucien's voice broke through my thoughts again, and I quickly snapped back to reality. "Sorry," I said, shaking my head. "I'm a little distracted today."

"It's okay," Lucien said, giving me a reassuring smile. "We can take a break if you need it. You've been working hard."

I nodded, grateful for the out. "Yeah, maybe a break would be good."

Lucien and I moved to a nearby table where we could sit and relax. As we chatted about lighter topics, I couldn't help but feel the weight of my conflicting emotions. Lucien's gentle demeanor was soothing, but the turbulent storm of thoughts about Levi lingered in the back of my mind. I was torn between the safe, calming presence Lucien offered and the intense, unpredictable allure of Levi.

As I sipped my drink and laughed at one of Lucien's stories, I knew I had a lot to figure out. The choices I made in the coming days would shape not only my relationships with them but also my own sense of self. For now, though, I decided to focus on the present moment and enjoy the company of someone who truly cared.

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